


I wanna be still with you

by lady_starrlight



Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Alternate Universe - Always a Different Sex, Alternate Universe - College/University, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, F/F, Fluff, Friends With Benefits, Genderswap, Like this is just 25k of Keith pining, Making Out, Pining, Pining Keith (Voltron), Rule 63, Socially Awkward Keith (Voltron), There's A Tag For That, Vaginal Fingering, Vaginal Sex, soooo much pining
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-02
Updated: 2020-07-02
Packaged: 2021-03-04 20:13:30
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 25,370
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25022209
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lady_starrlight/pseuds/lady_starrlight
Summary: “Listen, I know this is really weird, butthe Castlehas been really understaffed lately. It’s been just my godmother and me running the place, really. I mean, we hired a couple of girls recently, but they’re college kids, you know? I mean, you are too, but three kids is better than two, you know, and you seemed really good with the cats you brought in, so-”“Yes,” Keira says, the word out of her mouth before she even gets a chance to process it properly....Keira needs a job. The local cat shelter is hiring.
Relationships: Keith/Lance (Voltron)
Comments: 13
Kudos: 77





	I wanna be still with you

**Author's Note:**

> Title from "Texas Reznikoff" by Mitski.
> 
> Unbeta'd because I don't have a beta.

My soul is born on the shore of your eyes of mourning

In your eyes of mourning begins the realm of dreams

//

Keira’s first interaction with Lainey goes like this:

Keira is asleep. The symbols, letters, and numbers from her textbook swarm around her, hazily, urging her to study. In the back of her mind, she feels her red windbreaker catch on something syrupy. Gross.

A feminine voice breaks through her dreamy haze. Keira tenses, trying to tune it out, but the voice just gets louder and louder. Keira flaps her arms in its direction, trying to shut it off.

It isn’t until her hand actually hits something and she hears a cry that she jolts awake. A girl is leaning in front of her, alarmed, her face close to Keira’s own. Her skin is brown, looks soft. Freckles splash across her nose. And Keira had just smacked her, right in the face. A couple feet behind her, Keira sees an equally alarmed guy with earth-dark skin and white locs that brush his shoulder.

Scrambling backwards, Keira grabs her bag and bolts. She did _not_ need a screaming couple to lose it at her today.

It wasn’t until she was driving towards her apartment that she realized she had left her textbook in the cafe.

…

Keira stares down the boxes before her, her eyes drifting from one to another. One one hand, the fruity pebbles were almost over, meaning she’d have to ingest cereal dust. On the other, she could eat the frosted flakes, which had been sitting dormant since-

Keira’s eyes drift over to Shiro’s room and drift back again. She’d just go to the cafe.

…

Keira is debating between rainbow sprinkles or chocolate sprinkles when the girl from the other day approaches her.

“Hey, aren’t you that girl?” she hears, before she’s turning her back towards the voice who asked it and putting a foot in front of her.

“Wait!” An arm reaches out and grasps her firmly by the elbow. When she moves to yank it free, another one joins it. Keira tugs. She was stronger than she seemed.

Keira turns towards the voice. The girl is wearing a pale yellow tank that cuts off at her belly button. It’s adorned with white lace, a little bow placed at the top of the shirt, centered at her cleavage. The girl’s tongue peeked out slightly from behind her red lips.

Keira glares. “What.”

“Um.” The girl straightens up. “You forgot your textbook the other day.” She shrugs her backpack off and pulls it out, holding it for Keira to take.

Relief floods Keira’s system. She did not want to spend the eighty six dollars required for a new book. She grabs it. “Thanks.”

The girl smiles at her. Her lips are glossy.

“I’m Lainey.” Keira’s gaze flickers to the way the sun shines off of them. “I don’t care,” She responds.

Lainey falters. “Jesus, I was just trying to introduce myself.”

Keira feels a little childish. “Yeah, well. I’m not going to introduce myself.” Keira feels very childish.

The girl rolls her eyes. “Whatever. Bye.” She saunters off. Keira watches her hair sway as she walks.

She hears the sound of a throat clearing, and turns around again. “So, what’ll it be? Rainbow sprinkles or chocolate?”

…

“I’m being manhunted,” Keira offers casually.

Pidge doesn’t look away from the screen. “Oh?”

“Yeah. Some girl’s been following me.” She curses quietly as Pidge hits her with squid ink.

“Uh huh?”

“Yeah. Name’s Lainey.”

That catches Pidge’s attention, their eyesight meeting Keira’s for a split second before it travels back to the screen. “Lainey? McClain?”

“I dunno.” Keira tosses a banana behind her. Doesn’t work, Pidge is barely behind her. “Super tall.”

“That’s her.”

“Why does she want to talk to you?”

“I dunno.”

“Did you ask?”

“No.”

“Did it seem important?”

“I dunno.”

Pidge hums. “Whatever. I can get her off your back, if you want.”

“Thanks.” Keira tries to turn. Rosalina crashes into the side of the course. She’s really not very good at this game.

…

Keira tells herself she’s normal as she paces back and forth underneath the bus stop roof. She sits and stares at the sign of the cat rescue across from her. _The Castle of Lions_ , it reads.

Keira sighs.

She had found a tabby cat laying still on the pavement, which had been blisteringly hot under the august sun. The cat was starved. In a panic, she had rushed the animal back home, and, over time, she and Shiro nursed the little boy back to health.

Their apartment didn’t allow for pets, though, so Keira had mournfully found a cat rescue close to campus and dropped him off.

Keira misses him. A lot.

Hence the stalking.

…

Shiro is up and about the next morning, standing over a bowl of french toast mix. She smiles when she sees Keira enter the room.

“How are you doing?” she asks. Keira blinks.

“Fine. I’m tired. Classes are going well. Or, as well as they could be.” Keira winces. She doesn’t want to think about her bio grade.

Shiro gives her a placid smile and turns back to the french toast, humming softly. Keira’s gaze drifts downwards. She takes a deep breath before she begins to talk.

“So, listen, about work-”

Shiro slams the toast a little roughly onto the pan.

“I was just- I wanted to- I’m gonna get a job,” Keira blurts.

Shiro relaxes, turns. Quirks an eyebrow. “For real? You?”

Keira bristles. “What’s _that_ supposed to mean.”

Shiro laughs. “Nothing, nothing! You’re just being so responsible. It’s cute.”

Keira rolls her eyes. “I don’t have time for your patronizing, I’ve got class to get to,” she says, shoving some toast in her mouth and accepting a kiss on the cheek. She hears Shiro’s call of farewell as she ambles out the door.

Keira thunks her head backwards onto it once it’s closed, curses her penchant for getting her into these situations. How the fuck is she supposed to get a job?

…

Keira squints up. The guy from the other day looms before her, the one with the white hair. She wonders how he got his hair such a snowy white. Did he put baking soda in his bleach? That probably wouldn’t have turned his hair white, though. If Keira had to guess, she’d say he was maybe six foot three? Maybe shorter, she wasn’t very good at gauging height.

“I’ve been looking for you,” he says, and doesn’t that sound intimidating. He’s got a weird… british? Australian? Accent. It’s very posh. It kind of makes her more intimidated.

“Listen,” she begins, “whatever you think I did, I didn’t do it. I don’t even know you. If you want something from me, I’m afraid I-”

“We’ve actually met before.”

Keira shuts up. Have they?

“...You’re in one of my classes? I-”

“No, you’ve come into my store. Like. Twice.”

Keira just stares, confused.

The guy’s mouth presses into a thin smile.

“My godmother owns a cat rescue. You’ve been. You gave us a grey cat, the first time. An orange one after that.”

Keira remembers the grey cat. It had the most beautiful blue eyes. It had followed her for a full day before she had dropped it off at a rescue. She wasn’t sure if it belonged to anybody or not, but figured if it did, it was better off at a rescue than in the hands of someone who had just randomly left it.

“Your point?”

The kid- or maybe not kid, he seemed older than her, but not quite Shiro’s age- sighs and runs a hand along his face.

“Listen, I know this is really weird, but _the Castle_ has been really understaffed lately. It’s been just my godmother and me running the place, really. I mean, we hired a couple of girls recently, but they’re college kids, you know? I mean, you are too, but three kids is better than two, you know, and you seemed really good with the cats you brought in, so-”

“Yes,” Keira says, the word out of her mouth before she even gets a chance to process it properly. She blinks.

“What?”

“You’re offering me a job, right?” Keira shifts her weight from one foot to another. “I’m saying yes. I want to. Take the job, that is.”

“Oh.” the guy’s lashes flutter, his mind processing, then beams. “Oh! Thank you so much! Seriously, I appreciate this!”

He surges forward, grabbing her hands with his. Startled, Kiera stumbles backwards, her neck stretching away, awkwardly.

“Give me your phone, I’ll put in my contact information,” he continues, completely oblivious to Keira’s social inability and discomfort. Keira hands him her phone.

After some typing, the guy looks up and grins at her. “Seriously, thanks again. Come by anytime, we can figure out a schedule then. See you later!”

Keira looks down at her phone. A message reading this is Alor flashes across the screen and, underneath that, a location pin.

 _The Castle of Lions_ , the pin read.

…

The rescue is very cute. Its exterior is painted a warm yellow, the sign in a warm coral pink, dotted with little paw details. The space is open, with only four back rooms- one bathroom, one break room, one room for storage, and one tiny makeshift veterinary room. This, Keira learns, is where Alor operates- he’s only a year into veterinary school, but the family owned store front is the perfect place for him to gain experience; something as essential, if not more, than veterinary school itself.

Keira gets to man the front desk. Very exciting.

When Keira came in, a couple days after their exchange, she was greeted by a very tall, wiry woman with big, crazy red curls that went absolutely everywhere, and an intense australian (maybe new zealand-ish?) accent. She introduced herself as Corinne, Alor’s godmother and the current owner of _the Castle_.

Corinne and Keira are discussing work hours when the pair walks in. The tiny jingle of the door sounds off and Keira turns, subconsciously, to discern the source of the noise, only to be met face to face with that girl. You know, who kept following her.

Upon sight, the girl’s eyes enlarge and she points a long, accusatory finger.

“You!” she announces.

Keira looks around, points at herself. “Me…?”

“You keep avoiding me!” the girl proclaims, heels clacking gently against the floor, long hair swishing softly as she placed her hands on her hips.

Keira feels frustration encourage her eyebrow to twitch. “Ever consider there might be a reason for that?”

The girl gasps, offended, placing a hand on her chest, and that’s when Keira notices the girl behind her. She’s the same height as the first one- that is to say, ungodly tall- and big, with dark skin, darker than the girl in front of her. She has long, curly hair, pushed back by an orange headband, and wore a cute bulky olive-green cardigan.

She places a hand on the shoulder of the girl in front of her.

“Now, now,” she says, calmly, “no need to get worked up.”

The first girl whips around at that, offended again. “Wh- Excu- Worked up?! Hunk! You’re supposed to be in my corner!”

Hunk, apparently, ignores her, instead opting to make her way over to Keira. She offers out a hand and a warm smile.

“I’m Hunk. It’s really nice to meet you,” she says, her voice tender. Keira blinks up at her.

“Uhhh. Likewise.” She pauses. “I’m Keira.”

Hunk grins at her. “Hey, Keira! Have you met the cats yet?”

Upon the shake of her head no, Hunk groans. “Oh, man, you are missing out. Seriously, you’ve gotta meet these cats. They’re so cute. Like. So cute.”

Corinne interrupts. “Actually, Hunk, Keira’s got to get trained, and since it’s not your shift now, you’re not going to be the one to train her.” Corinne gives a pointed look towards the other girl.

The girl’s eyes widen. “What! Corrine! You can’t stick me with her! She- for God’s sakes, Corinne, she has a mullet!”

Keira tugs self-consciously at her hair. It was actually quite long. It didn’t look like a mullet.

Corinne grins widely. “Well, Lainey! I can’t have my staff bickering and not getting along, can I? I wonder how many customers that type of behavior would drive away! Do you have an idea, Lainey? Hmmm?”

The girl deflates, slightly. “No, Corinne. Sorry, Corinne. I’ll train her.” She turns to Keira. “I’ll get you started. It’s Keira, right?”

Keira nods. “What’s your name? I didn’t quite catch it.”

The girl blinks at her in disbelief. Her eyelashes are long, coated with mascara. Keira wonders if they’re false.

“Girl, I swear. I’ve already told you my name,” she says, incredulous.

Kiera winces. “Sorry. What was it again?”

“Lainey. My name is Lainey. McClain. Elaine Charlotte McClain. Okay? Lainey,” she says, and Keira exhales, impatience coloring the action.

“ _Yes_ , I got that, thank you, and I’m _sorry_ ,” Keira says, not quite as gracefully as she was trying to.

Lainey rolls her eyes. “Whatever, Mullet. Let’s get cracking.” She makes her way to the break room, behind the desk.

Keira grits her teeth and shoots Corinne a look. Corinne just grins back widely, a little threateningly. Keira sighs and follows, the sound of the rain and Hunk and Corinne’s conversation turning into a comforting hum.

Lainey heads towards the storage room and takes off her black raincoat, placing it on a coat rack positioned in the corner of the room. The coat looks tight, and is pretty ugly by itself, but it looks nice on her. Underneath, she’s wearing a collared light blue lace shirt that cut off right above her belly button. It’s completely sheer. Keira can clearly see the opaque lace bralette she wore below. Keira likes it.

She takes a lanyard with pink, purple, and blue stripes off the wall and places it around her, pulling her hair up and over the back of it, and revealing the length of the back of her neck, the tips of her vertebrae, the edges of her scalp. Lainey turns once she’s done, and Keira blinks, startled.

“So we don’t have uniforms, but everyone’s required to wear their lanyard and name tag, obviously, so customers know who to talk to. You don’t have one yet, but don’t worry about it, Corinne will make you one. She lets you pick out your lanyard too, if you care.” Lainey reaches into the pocket of her raincoat. “You also get a key, it unlocks the play pens, the storage room, this room, pretty much every room, just not the front door. Corinne will get you one of those too, I think… Anyways. Wanna meet the cats?”

Keira nods once, enthusiastically. Lainey bites down on her lower lip, as if fighting off a grin. It makes Keira feel warm.

“Alrighty, miss angst, this way please,” Lainey says, beckoning her through the door.

Keira’s sure she’s glowing when the play pen is opened. Lainey chuckles a little at the expression on Keira’s face. Keira looks around, hastily, looking, searching for-

Keira finds him. She falls to her knees, feels her hair pool over her shoulder, as she reaches in front of her, cooing.

“Hey, little man,” Keira says, choking up, her voice watery, as she delicately scratches the cat’s ears and cheeks.

“Wow, you’re very emotionally attached to this cat,” Lainey marvels, humorously. Keira shoots her a half hearted glare, laughing wetly.

“I love him so much,” she sniffles.

“He has a name, unless you already…?”

Keira shakes her head. In the time she had the kitty, she’d only referred to the cat as ‘little boy’ or sometimes ‘tiny’.

“Well,” Lainey got on her knees next to her, bringing her sweet- smelling hair closer to Keira, “We named him Aka.”

Keira smiles. “I love it.” She turns to the cat.

“Hi there, Aka, sweet boy, I love you, little Akashi,” she coos. Aka purrs, nuzzling softly into Keira’s hands.

Lainey laughs, and Keira’s heart clenches violently at the sound. It sounded the way the sun looked when it glinted off of the ocean at sunset. It sounded like a waterfall of light.

“I guess I don’t have to train you on how to work with cats,” Lainey says, and Keira looks up at her. She could see the individual freckles that spanned across her face, the way fragments of her mascara were caught in her concealer. Her lips were so red.

Keira smiles.

…

“..Uh, and don’t forget to make that appointment with your doctor, okay, Shiro?” Keira stumbles past Shiro’s closed door, pulling on her red backpack and tying her hair up in a high ponytail. She pauses outside Shiro’s door. “Okay, Shiro?” There’s no noise, not even a peep of acknowledgement.

Keira pounds on the door. “Shiro?”

Silence.

Keira pounds on the door again. “Takako!”

The door gives way mid- knock. Shiro’s wrapped herself in a blanket, her face pale.

She smiles weakly at Keira. “I got it, kiddo, okay? Why don’t you head over to class, hmm?”

Keira stares. “Shiro…”

“Seriously, don’t worry about me, Keira. Go to class. I’ll make the appointment. Okay?”

Keira purses her lips together. Shiro shakes her head at her, fondly.

The door shuts.

…

Working at the rescue is different. Keira’s not used to hanging around a bunch of people. After her mom died, the only people she’d ever really hung out with were Shiro and Ryo, with the latter addition of the Holt siblings.

The rescue is always bustling. Corinne is always there, as she lives in the studio above the store. Alor is more often there than not; if not working, then studying at his desk- it’s easier to be there in case of emergency, he’d explained to her when she asked. Certain cats are let out of the playpen, in favoritism: While Keira’s attention is always almost primarily on Aka, Hunk is particularly soft on a big yellow cat named Ki. Keira finds herself feeding Ki extra treats all the time, much to Corinne’s stress.

She learns Lainey has a soft spot for Aoi, the grey cat that Keira had brung in, the first time she’d visited. When Keira told her what she’d done, Lainey had just stared at her for a little bit, and then shook her head.

“Of course you did,” she had muttered.

Except Sundays, Keira is almost always joined by Lainey or Hunk. But Hunk’s classes are almost all morning classes, so she’s joined by Lainey most days. Wednesday nights, _everyone’s_ there.

Hunk- a baker, she learns- almost always makes something for them as a celebration. It’s typically cake, but one time, she brought donuts.

Keira… doesn’t feel like she belongs. She watches the way Lainey’s face lights up whenever Hunk walks into the room. She watches the group laugh at Lainey’s attempts to hit on Alor. She watches Corinne tell stories of her adventurous youth, watches the way the group’s attention is completely captured by her ridiculousness.

There’s so much love between the group and Keira… Keira just isn’t part of it. Keira knows where she belongs, what she deserves. Corinne is crazy and protective, Hunk is warm and loving, Alor is sensible and compassionate, and Lainey… Lainey is beautiful, inside and out, and Keira knows she isn’t any of that. Knows that she couldn’t be able to be there for them the way they could be there for her, because she isn’t any of those things. Not warm, not compassionate, not beautiful. Keira couldn’t fit in with a batch of normal people, she _definitely_ couldn’t fit in with people as amazing as them.

The good thing about not being as wonderful as her coworkers, however, was that her coworkers were wonderful. Hunk always knew what to say to make her feel good, was always available with an easy ear. Alor was so smart, it blew her mind. Corinne always had her back, even if she couldn’t come into work.

Also, Keira could like, afford stuff now. They’d kind of been living off their savings and Shiro’s disability check for a little while now, which was very much _not_ ideal, especially considering Keira had just started school. But now, Keira didn’t have to worry about spending over a hundred for groceries. She could even contemplate getting a therapist or something for Shiro.

Keira’s train of thought breaks as Aka brushes his head under her palm. Keira smiles downwards. Yes, the rescue shelter was different, but it was definitely worth it.

…

Lainey locks up the store, Tuesday evening. It was the only day of the week that just the two of them shared the evening shift. If Alor had been staying over with Corinne, the way he did sometimes, he’d be the one locking up. But occasionally, the job fell to one of the girls.

“Cor- _inne_! I’ve locked the front door, lock the staff door when we leave, okay?” Lainey calls towards the ceiling, her long neck stretching. The low neck of the grey tank she’s wearing reveals the vast expanse of her freckled collar.

Upon hearing Corinne’s muffled response, Lainey grins at Keira. “Old people, I swear. You’ve gotta look after them or they’re gonna get hurt.”

Keira scrunches her nose. “Um, I think Corinne’s only like... fifty three.”

Lainey raises her eyebrows expressively. “Yeah, I know. Fucking ancient.” She stands to Keira’s side as Keira pulls the heavy metal staff door shut. She coughs.

Keira looks up, inquisitively, only to see Lainey wiggling a small, pale blue stasher bag.

Confused, Keira looks at Lainey. Understanding dawns on her at the mischievous grin on her face, the green of the leaf in the bag.

Ah. Weed.

“You ever…?” Lainey asks, smiling wider. When she smiled, her skin crinkled at the sides of her eyes, at the sides of her lips.

“Uh.” Keira looks down, kicks at the ground. “No. Never weed.”

“Oh? Anything else?” Lainey’s voice is simply curious, no traces of judgement.

Keira scrunches her face up in embarrassment. “Uhh… cigarettes. And. I used to juul.”

Lainey barks out a laugh. Like the glow of a buttercup. “Ohmygod, that’s so funny, I can totally see you as an edgy teenager with a shit ton of juuls. Oh, but I bet your favorite flavor was something adorable though, like, bubblegum or something. What was it?”

Keira kicks at the ground again, her face hot. “...Pineapple,” she mumbles.

Lainey cackles, and Keira smiles, despite herself.

Lainey takes a lighter out of the pocket of her olive-green denim jacket, lighting one of the joints she had in her stasher bag. Lainey lifts a brow, enticing.

“Want a hit?”

Keira nods after a second of hesitation, taking the joint between her lips. She sucks in, coughing slightly, unused to the tickle after so long, and breathes out. Lainey watches, amused.

“You have to breathe it in.”

“Oh!” Keira breathes in.

Lainey grins, the movement splitting her face like a crack of lightning in the sky. “So, mullet. I get enigmatic is your thing, but why don’t you let me in on the mystery, hmm?”

It takes a little bit to understand what the fuck she’s talking about. “Um, there’s nothing to tell, really. My life’s kind of boring, honestly.”

Lainey leans forward then, a sudden jerk of movement that startles her. “That’s _not_ true, it can’t be. Literally _everyone_ talks about you all the time, Keira, but no one knows anything about you.”

Keira blinks. “Why’re people talking about me?”

Lainey shrugs. “Probably because you’re hot and have a good GPA, I don’t know.”

“You think I’m hot?”

Lainey redirects. “What about your parents?”

Keira passes back the joint with a grimace. “Mom’s dead, dad’s gone.”

“Oh.” Silence. “I’m sorry, I didn’t know-”

“It’s fine,” Keira cuts her off. “Shit happens.” Kiera never knew what to say when people offered condolences.

“...Um, siblings?”

“I’ve got two sisters,” Keira says, slowly, thinking. “Like, foster turned adopted sisters.”

Lainey perks up at this. “Oh? What’re their names? Older or younger?”

“They’re both older, by eight years. Ryo and Shiro.”

Lainey gawks. “What.”

Keira scrunches her nose, self consciously. “What?”

“Shiro. As in, Takako Shirogane. As in, went to this school, majored in astrophysics and then also became a pilot, Takako Shirogane. As in, accompanied nobel-prize winning Samantha Holt with her nuclear research, Takako Shirogane. As in, my personal hero and lowkey wet dream for the past five years, Takako Shirogane. _That_ Shiro?”

Keira is uncomfortable on many levels, for many reasons. “Uh… yes?”

“What!” Lainey shouts. “Shiro’s your _sister_? Holy shit, dude! Holy fucking shit!”

“It’s not a big deal,” Keira grumbles.

“Bull- _shit_ it’s not a big deal! It’s a very big deal, Keira! It’s a very, very big deal!”

Keira rolls her eyes. “Are people always this loud when they’re high?”

This snaps Lainey out of her spiel, drawing her attention back to her joint. “Sativa, bitch.”

“Are you okay to drive?”

“I live a walking distance away.”

“Oh.”

Silence. Then, “Why?”

“Oh, I just…” Keira nods towards her bike. “I would’ve offered you a ride. Except. I’m maybe not okay to drive. So I’ll probably walk. But that means I’d have to leave my bike here…”

Kiera trails off at the look on Lainey’s face. “What?”

“ _You have a bike_ ,” Lainey wheezes out. “Holy shit, you’re such a fucking stereotype.”

Keira huffs, bites down on her tongue. “Listen, if you’ve got a problem with-”

“No, no,” Lainey interrupts, “I like it.”

“Oh.” Keira blinks. “Yeah?”

“Yeah.” Her eyes go hooded, her grin sultry. “It’s hot.”

Keira steps back, her face hot. “O-Oh.”

Lainey steps forwards, crowds into Keira’s space. There’s only an inch, a centimeter of space between them. Keira can see light from the street lamps sparkle on her lip gloss. She can see the cracks in her concealer. Her eyes glance at Lainey’s freckles, again.

Lainey places her joint between her lips, breathing in, and slowly blowing out. The smoke from the joint floats up, between them, a thick white, like an cloudy partition. Lainey smiles when the smoke dissipates.

“Well,” she says, “see you later.”

She walks away. Keira feels hot all over.

…

Keira wakes up, and knows something is wrong. She doesn’t know how she knows, if it’s that it’s too quiet, too still. But she knows.

She yanks herself up and out of her bed and bolts straight towards Shiro’s room.

Silence. Absolute, utter silence.

Keira doesn’t bother knocking. She opens the door.

The windows are drawn closed. The room smells dank. Shiro’s huddled under her blanket, a mound on the mattress.

Keira approaches slowly, as one would an injured bird. “Shiro…?” she calls, softly.

The mound doesn’t move. Keira inches closer, hovering over her sister.

“Shiro?” she asks again, louder this time.

Shiro’s hand whips out and grabs her like a vice. Her face is covered with tears. Her body racks with every breath she takes, the noise clogged, as if the action is difficult, as if she needs all of her energy to keep doing so.

Her face crumples up, her breaths get louder. She’s hyperventilating.

“Let me get you some water,” Keira says, bolts out of the room and back in again, barely a second passing.

Shiro lets out a sob. Keira’s heart breaks at the noise. She fights down the tears building up behind her own eyes and places a gentle hand on Shiro’s face. Shiro jerks.

“Hey, it’s okay, alright? It’s okay, I’m here. I just want to help you drink some water, okay? I just want you to drink this water,” Keira murmurs. “It’s okay, it’s all okay.”

Shiro’s hand grabs the cup, aided by Keira’s own. She drinks the water down, desperately at first, and then more slowly as her breathing begins to even out. Keira doesn’t move away until she closes her eyes, calm.

Keira places the cup on the nightstand and crawls into the bed. Shiro’s head falls onto her collar. Keira’s hand finds her hair, strokes it softly. Shiro breathes in, shaky.

“I’m sorry,” she says, her voice rough. Keira shushes her, presses a kiss onto her forehead.

Later, much later, just out of class and far away from Shiro, Keira sits down and cries.

…

Keira’s exhausted at work. Her eyesight keeps going hazy, she can barely pay attention to a customer when they’re asking about different food brands.

Tense from that morning, Keira races over when she hears a crash from the veterinary office. She slams the door open.

“Lainey?” she calls, her voice strained with alarm.

“I’m here!” she pops out from the end of the office, holding her arms behind her back. “Sorry if I scared you!”

Keira breathes out a shaky breath, leans onto the door. Waits for her heart to slow down.

“... Are you okay?” Lainey asks, her voice concerned.

Keira, much to her embarrassment, begins to cry.

Lainey is over in an instant, an arm around her shoulder and mumbling comforting phrases.

“I’m sorry,” Keira hiccups between sobs, “I’m sorry, I’m sorry.”

Lainey stays with her until the tears subside. She tries to get away when her eyes dry, but Lainey makes it clear she won’t let that happen until she could make sure Keira was okay.

So Keira talks. “I’m. Exhausted.”

Lainey tilts her head attentively. Keira can see the mascara on her lower lashes.

“Things have been intense lately, and I’m so scared that… things aren’t going to turn out for the better. And I’m just constantly worried about it and thinking about it so I distract myself from _doing_ so much but I don’t stop thinking about it and then I’m just physically exhausted on top of emotionally exhausted and-”

Keira cuts herself off when she hears her voice begin to wobble again. She sniffs. Rubs at her eyes.

Lainey’s voice is soft when she begins speaking again. “Why didn’t you tell any of us this?”

Keira’s shaking her head before she even finishes.

“I can’t- I just- I don’t want to bother anyone, I don’t want all you guys to be worried about me, it’s not even that important, or that big of a deal,” Keira rambles, cutting off when Lainey grabs her by the shoulder.

“Dude. You’re important.”

Keira blinks up at her.

Lainey sighs. “Listen. You’re important. Your problems are important. Your _feelings_ are important. And what’s more, you’re important to _us_ ,” she says, gesturing around the room, grinning. “You’re not just our coworker. You’re our friend.”

Keira feels her eyes start welling up all over again.

Lainey stands up, offering a hand to her, impish grin on her face. “Do you want to see what that noise was?” Keira nods, getting to her feet. Lainey motions over to the other side of the room. Keira follows.

“Meet-” she says, her hand over a box with holes at the top, “-Alor’s mice.”

Keira stops dead in her tracks. Underneath the box are four rodents. Did he know they worked at a cat shelter?

“What.”

…

“Did you tell anybody?” Keira asks, demands, standing awkwardly in the staff doorway.

“About what?” Lainey asks, grunting as she lifts another box out of the small cargo truck parked at the back of the building.

“About… You know. The other day.”

“Oh? And what is it that occurred the other day?” Lainey grins over the box of cat food, white teeth behind strawberry red lips.

Keira rubs her nose with the back of her hand. “You know. The bonding moment.”

“Hmm… I don’t seem to remember any bonding moment…”

“Lainey!” Keira protests, irritation building.

Lainey laughs.

Keira just gets angrier. “Seriously, Lainey, did you fucking blab off about me or something? Because I don’t know about you, but I really hate being talked about.”

That stuns Lainey into silence. She puts her box down next to the door. She levels a look at Keira. Her smile is still there, but her eyes have gone steely.

“What exactly are you accusing me of?”

Keira stands straighter, holds her chin up. “I want to know if you told anyone else about the other day,” she says, through gritted teeth.

Lainey crosses her arms over her torso, eyebrows narrowed. “No. I didn’t.”

Keira breathes out. “Okay. Thank you.”

Eyebrows still narrowed, Lainey asks, “Why would you think I would do something like that?”

Keira frowns. In the past couple of days, her coworkers had been acting differently around her. Like with the whiteboards that were glued onto the staff cubbies- Keira’s been finding nice messages written on hers by Alor, such as _Aka misses you so much!!!_ Or, _I can’t handle this five-o-clock rush without you_. And Hunk had taken to buying her drinks, or, even worse, _making_ her drinks. The amount of Acai she had consumed recently was absolutely astounding. Whenever she had walked into a room, Lainey’s eyes would be on her in an instant, and she would immediately redirect the conversation to include her.

Keira was being coddled. She didn’t like it.

“I don’t want to be treated like a baby just because… I don’t know, you think I’m sensitive or something,” Keira grumbled. “I don’t want you to be nice to me out of pity.”

Lainey’s eyes went soft. “Oh, Keira.”

Suddenly, she’s coming closer, leaning into Keira’s space. Alarm bells ring in her head and in her ears as Lainey reaches over and-

-hugs her. Her arms wrap around Keira’s shoulders, her chin brushing Keira’s cheekbone. Keira stiffens, her heart pounding, her face burning. She’s sure she looks about as red as a tomato. Slowly, in aborted movements, Keira places her arms around Lainey’s waist, fingers gripping the soft material of her cropped lavender sweater.

Lainey pulls away. “We’re not being nice to you because we pity you. We’re being nice to you because we want to show you that we care about you. We want to become better friends with you.”

Keira gapes. “ _Oh_.”

Lainey snorts, slaps a hand over her mouth, and Keira can’t help the small smile she makes at the noise.

“You’re so fucking stupid,” Lainey giggles.

“Shut up, you asshole,” Keira says, fondly.

Lainey laughs louder at this, her head going backwards, her neck extending, and Keira has a sudden vision of fisting Lainey’s hair in her hand, of biting at her jaw, at her neck, of listening to her moan. Keira has to physically steel herself, _force_ herself to stay put and rock herself backwards in response to her subconscious forward lunge.

Lainey shakes her head, still laughing, and then swings a powerful arm around Keira’s neck, knocking the breath out of her, slightly.

“Keira, Keira,” she says, exasperatedly, but affectionately. Her eyes light up. “You know, we just had our first fight! Now we really _are_ friends!”

Keira fights down the warm flutter of her heart.

…

She builds a routine:

She goes to her classes, first and foremost.

The only people working on Sundays are herself, Alor, and Corinne. She works the morning shift and evening shift. Between then, (and sometimes during work, honestly) she studies.

On Fridays, she works the afternoon. Tuesdays, Wednesdays, and Thursdays, she works evenings. On Saturday, she’s told to fuck off, (“You’re twenty, go have fun,” says Corinne) but she still comes in during the afternoon shift, sometimes staying a couple hours past, just to help out.

She hadn’t believed what Lainey had said before, that no one pitied her. She was sure that, if not her emotional breakdown, it was her complete lack of social skills that encouraged her coworkers to treat her with such fragility.

That being said, Keira grows a soft spot for these people. Keira learns that Corinne had a daughter, once. She learns that Alor uses Hunk’s headbands when he studies or works. She learns that he’s always wanted to be a father. She learns that he’s an absolute history and pop culture geek, no matter how he tries to deny it. She learns that Hunk wanted to go to culinary school for a while, that she struggles with her body image and had to go to therapy for it. She learns that Hunk loves watching stand up comedy, even the shitty stuff. She learns that she’s not that different from any of them.

She learns a lot about Lainey, too. She learns that Lainey has a weird obsession with both Nancy Sinatra and Daddy Yankee. She learns that Lainey used to use clinique but moved onto glossier because it was more ethical and environmentally friendly. She learns that she’s always making noise, talking to other people or mumbling under her breath or humming. She learns that her favorite anime are Sailor Moon and Saint Seiya. Her celebrity crush is Merlyn Wood. She’s obsessed with cats, kind of afraid of dogs. She’s the youngest of five, she wants a huge family. She really likes blue. She looks good in orange.

She wants to learn more about Lainey. She wants to know what Lainey would do if she kissed her. What Lainey would do if she pressed against her. Wants to know what she’d sound like, what noises she’d make. Wants to know what her skin would look like, bitten, reddened, slick-

“Hey, Keira?” Keira jumps, knocking over a jar of pencils.

“Uhhh, yes…?” She says, attempting to lean naturally on her stool.

Hunk shoots her a weird look. “I was just going to ask what you fed the cats yesterday.”

“Uh, I think Lainey fed the cats yesterday,” Keira says. Her face is probably still red.

Hunk’s weird look doesn’t dissipate. “Okay… Thanks…”

Keira nods, waits until she’s gone to collapse on the desk in front of her. Embarrassing.

…

“-and then she like, didn’t say anything. She totally let this chick walk all over her! And I’m like. First of all, you’ve gotta stand up for yourself, right? Like if you’re interested in him, let him know! Don’t be intimidated! But it’s also like, him and his sister _can’t_ have a good relationship if she’s so controlling, you know? I lowkey feel bad for her, but also I totally don’t, because she’s totally bullying Hunk and Hunk is just, letting it happen. She never prioritizes herself in these situations. It’s total bullshit. Hunk deserves better,” Lainey finishes, breathless.

Keira nods, sagely. She and Lainey had been doing this for the past couple of months; sharing a joint after work and just… talking.

It was nice.

Currently, Lainey was ranting about the romantic endeavors- or rather, failures, it sounded more like- of Hunk and some guy she was into and his scary sister. Keira found herself somewhat intrigued, absolutely captivated by the way Lainey spun a story, but also fond; Lainey was so cute when she was worked up.

Lainey rolls her eyes, hard. “Whatever,” she says, taking a hit, “let’s talk about something else or I’m gonna go home pissed and then I’ll be in a bad mood and have wasted a joint.”

“Oh.” Keira’s a bit of a lightweight when it comes to weed, so her brain’s a little slow. Is that even what it’s called, with drugs? Can you be a lightweight with weed? Isn’t it something like… tolerance? She has a low weed tolerance? “Uhhh… What do you want to talk about?”

Lainey looks up in thought, pursing her lips. Her nose is flushed red in the cold. The stark white and navy of her winter coat looks so good next to her dark sepia skin.

“Um… Wanna play truth or truth?”

Keira nods. “Sure. Why not.”

“Hhokay… What’s your number?”

Keira stops, thinks. “Probably like… eight? I dunno, I lost my virginity late.”

“That’s still a good number! When did you lose your virginity?”

“Isn’t it my turn?”

“Oh, sorry.”

“Uh, so what’s your number?”

Lainey laughs, wind blowing through a chime. “So creative.”

“Dude, for real… What is it.”

Lainey’s laughs subside. “Okay, but you can’t like, judge me.”

Keira’s brows furrow. “Why the fuck would I do that? Do I seem like that type of person to you?”

“No! It’s just…” Lainey chews on her lip, slightly. “I dunno the exact number… but I think it’s around, like… sixty, maybe…”

Keira’s eyebrows shoot up. “Oh!”

“...It’s a lot, I know….”

“No!” Keira’s upset. She’s just… she’ll never have what any of those people had, never see Lainey the way they had the privilege of seeing. “Not at all!”

Lainey grins at her, the smile small. “Okay.”

“Next question?”

Lainey thinks. “Hm… What were your exes like?”

Keira shakes her head. “I’ve never been in a relationship before.”

Lainey’s eyes go huge. “What!”

“What about you?” Keira interrupts before Lainey can begin. “What were your exes like?”

Lainey’s thinking again. “Weellll… they were all men, and-.... Well, none of them were white, which is kind of funny when you think about it-”

Keira wonders if Lainey’s straight. A horrible feeling goes down her spine. She probably is.

“Who’s someone you would _never_ date?”

Keira shrugs. “Shiro, I guess.”

Lainey sputters. “ _What_!”

Keira shrugs again. “I don’t know, a lot of people assume we’re dating. Like, a lot. It’s really weird, actually. And it’s like, even if we weren’t siblings, you know, like even if we were just friends, she’s still eight years older than me, you know? So it’s weird either way.” Keira huffs.

“It’s annoying because I feel like when people typically see a gay asian couple, their mind immedietly jumps to siblings, right? But me and Shiro actually are siblings. Like, I know we’re not the same kind of asian, but white people are always saying they can’t tell asians apart, why is it only with _us_ that-”

Keira stops. Lainey’s laughing.

“What?” Keira feels a little silly.

“No, nothing,” Lainey wheezes, grinning so hard Keira can see her laugh lines from where she’s standing. “It’s just that I think this is the most I’ve heard you talk and the topic is just… so stupid. I’m so sorry they think that, oh my gosh,” she doesn’t stop laughing.

Keira’s smiling as she looks down. She presses down at the wet frost underneath her feet.

“I have another question, though,” Lainey says, trace amounts of laughter in her tone. She steps closer.

“Is there anyone you’d really like to date?” She steps into Keira’s space, lashes falling downwards as she looks at Keira’s lips. “To fuck?”

She grins at Keira, her eyes hooded, dark. “Would you ever fuck a friend?”

Keira’s mouth, her throat is dry. Her heart is beating fast, racing; she can feel it throb behind her eyelids. “U-Uh, I,”

Lainey steps away, a teasing smile still on her lips. “Hey, do you want to come to Hunk and my dinner Saturday night?”

Whiplash. “Um… What.”

“Yeah!” She grins at Keira. “Me and Hunk and another really good friend of ours have dinner together every Saturday night. Sometimes it’s like, on caucasian time, if me and Hunk are going to a party or something, but like, you should _t_ _otally_ come. Totally come.”

Keira stares at Lainey, then down at her feet.

“I don’t know, I’m not really… like, _good_ , in those situations...”

“Oh, come on!” Lainey grabs her shoulders. “That’s totally bullshit.”

Her smile goes smaller, softer, more vulnerable. “Listen, I-I know we’ve only been friends for a couple months but… I feel like we’ve made a connection, you know? You mean a lot to me and... to be honest, I already think of you as one of my best friends.”

Keira’s heart. Swells. Bursts. Explodes.

“Yes,” and Lainey looks up, delighted- Keira’s heart explodes, again. “Yes, I’ll go to your dinner.”

…

She shouldn’t be here. She should just go back home. She didn’t know what she was thinking, what was she thinking? This was going to be _so_ damn awkward-

“Keira! You came!”

Keira’s lashes flutter, rapidly. “Uh, yeah! Uh. Hi.”

“Wow, you look amazing,” Lainey said, eyes running along her body. Keira shifts, uncomfortably. In lieu of her usual graphic tee and black denim shorts, Keira was wearing a short, collared, button down shirt. She didn’t have any boobs, really, so she had the privilege of being able to unbutton it down to the center of her chest without flashing anyone.

“Me? What about you?” Lainey’s cardigan revealed a small triangle of skin at her waist, and her long skirt hugged her legs. Keira wanted to peel it off of her.

“Oh, psh,” Lainey said, rolling her eyes, “I’m just wearing what I always wear. Come on in!”

Keira pads into the apartment, hands still shoved in her pockets. Looks around. There’s a kitchen to her left, a sofa and TV in front of her. There are a couple doors to her right- bedrooms, she assumes.

Someone’s on the couch playing overwatch. Keira knows this because Widowmaker’s big butt fills the screen for a second before it flashes to a bunch of guns going off.

“Keira! You’re here!” Keira turns to see Hunk wiping flour off her hands and onto her apron. “I was _so_ excited when I heard Lainey invited you to dinner. You’re gonna have a blast, I promise.”

Keira smiles. “What’s for dinner?”

Hunk grins at the question. “Girl I am so glad you asked, you’re gonna love this.” She beckons Keira into the kitchen.

Keira gapes when she sees what’s on the counter. “Is that…? Homemade…?”

Hunk’s absolutely beaming. “Ramen? Yes. I remembered it was your favorite.”

Keira edges closer. “I- You’ve even got the seaweed to the side! And the egg-! Hunk!” Keira whips around to stare up at her. “This must have taken you all day!”

Hunk nods. “Pretty much, yeah. Oh, I added extra spicy miso to yours, by the way. And-” she reaches around the counter and grabs a container, “-I know you’re not supposed to put it in Ramen, but I remembered you liked it, so I picked up some Gochujang from the store. If you don’t like it, I’ve got some shaanxi hot oil, so we're all covered on the spicy end of things.”

“Hunk!” Keira feels like crying. “You remembered all of this?”

Hunk’s grin grows fond. “Of course I did. You’re my friend. I wanted to surprise you with your favorite meal ‘cause it’s the first time I’ve ever cooked for you.”

Keira hugs her. It’s kind of awkward. Keira doesn’t care, though. She can’t believe Hunk went through all this just for her.

Lainey’s voice breaks through the moment. “Figures your favorite food would be all carb-y. I’m gonna have to like, fast or something tomorrow.”

Hunk frowns at her. “Lainey!”

She throws her hands up. “I’m just kidding! Hunk, when you said we’d be having Ramen today though, I swear to god my mind went to cup noodles and I was so mad…”

Hunk rolls her eyes. “Lainey, as a woman of color, something that stupid should not have come out of your mouth.”

Keira snorts, full on laughing when she hears Lainey’s offended gasp. She’s clutching her sides when Hunk joins her.

“I- You-! You guys!”

They just laugh harder. When Keira looks up, Lainey’s smiling, a soft look in her eyes. She shakes her head slightly, turns to Keira.

“Anyways, do you want to meet our other guest? The Xander to our Buffy and Willow? The Michelle to our Bey and Kelly?”

“Would I be Buffy or Willow?” Hunk wonders aloud. “I mean. I’m definitely Kelly.”

“This,” Lainey says, bringing Keira around to the couch, “is Pidge.”

You know that spiderman meme? They kind of have that moment. Well, at least on Keira’s part, anyhow.

“You!” shouts Keira. Pidge looks over at Keira, bored. “Me.”

“What?” Lainey looks between the pair. “Do you know each other?”

“Yes!” Keira cries. “We’re family friends!”

“Yeah, we’ve known each other for like… six years? When did the Shiros start fostering you, Keira?”

“What are you doing here, Pidge?!”

“Uh, Hunk and Lainey are like, my best friends.” Pidge raises an eyebrow. “To be fair, I didn’t know that you were friends with them either."

Lainey moves to place a hand on her own heart. Keira swats it away.

“Wait… this means…” Lainey says, slowly. Keira looks over, inquisitively. “Pidge… on a scale from one to ten. How emo was teenage Keira?”

At their cackles, Keira’s middle fingers, both raised, thrust emphatically in both Lainey and Pidge’s direction.

Hunk sighs from behind them. “Guys… Dinner’s done.”

…

The dinner had ended with a movie and a card game. When Keira had asked if they ever played video games, Lainey had spouted something about keeping Pidge away from electronics. It also turned out that Pidge had bought the gaming console that was at their apartment; the pair hadn’t been able to afford one, but since Pidge was apparently over all the time, they had just gone ahead and got one for themselves. Allegedly, Lainey only used the switch to play Stardew Valley, and Hunk, Animal Crossings.

The card game they played was apples to apples, and halfway through, Pidge and Hunk formed an alliance to never pick the card they thought Lainey had put down, much to Lainey’s annoyance. After, Lainey had braided Pidge’s hair with flowers, and then made fun of Keira for having shorter hair than them. (Keira was _pretty_ sure her hair was longer than Pidge’s.)

Then Pidge had mentioned something about needing money, and Hunk mentioned that all of Corinne’s old employees had graduated, and Lainey mentioned that they had, sans Pidge, all met at _the Castle_ , and suddenly, Pidge was talking to Corinne, and Keira was being told to train Pidge during her Sunday evening shift.

Keira crabbily walks Pidge through the process of signing in, customer service, and inventory first, knowing it’ll piss Pidge off to have to wait to talk to the cats. Sure enough, Pidge is twitching by the end of Keira’s tutorial.

“Okay, okay, okay!” Pidge says, hastily pushing Keira towards the play pens. “Now I want to meet the cats!”

Keira laughs, unlocks the door to her favorite playpen- the one holding Aka. Sure enough, the little tabby comes bounding up towards her.

“Hello, Aka,” Keira coos, mumbling sweet things at the cat. Pidge looks around, blinking owlishly.

“That’s Akashi?” they ask, bending down to pet him.

“Yep. This is my little boy,” Keira coos again, dissolving into baby noises. Pidge rolls her eyes.

A brown cat with green eyes approaches Pidge when they sit down. Pidge holds their hand out, grinning stupidly as the cat rubs his face along their palm.

“What’s this one’s name?” Pidge asks, quietly.

“His name is Midori,” Keira says, hushed.

“Hi there little Midorin,” Pidge whispers at the cat as they stroke along his back. “I love you, Midori.”

Keira smiles as Aka tucks his head under her jaw. Having Pidge around would be alright.

…

On laundry days, Shiro and Keira make it a habit to fold their laundry together, actually talk to each other- or, at least, try their best.

Nothing was ever really shared, and it was typically pretty quiet. Nevertheless, Keira enjoyed the time. Shiro was always in a better mood, afterwards, and Keira always felt as if they grew closer, anyways.

It was like that now. They had propped their window open, used the soft hum of the breeze as it rustled the leaves on the trees as a soundtrack as they let the sun filter in, let the cool air from thesnowy backdrop drift into the apartment. They watched as dust got caught in the daylight, glinting like fairies before it drifted off forever.

Keira is smiling as they fold their clothes. Moments like these made life okay.

Her phone pings, once, and then twice.

Keira clicks it open. Snapchat notifications. (She only had three people saved as friends.)

The first photo is a selfie of Lainey, taken from up high, at an angle where you can see her full torso and some of the dark baggy denim below. The sun lights her up from behind. She looks so good. She’s using the butterfly freckles filter and is winking comically, sticking her tongue out. Her hair glows from the warm light of the sun. It looks so soft. The pale blue tank top highlights the jut of her collarbones, her shoulders, her cleavage. It makes her skin look so brown, her arms look so soft. She looks so good. She looks _so good_. She was so beautiful Keira could feel it stir in her chest, travel down to her stomach.

Keira screenshots the picture.

“Who’re you texting?” Shiro asks, mildly.

“Not texting, snapchatting,” Keira says, still grinning down at her phone.

“Who’re you snapchatting?”

“No one important.”

“Really? Then why are you smiling like an idiot?”

The smile vanishes off her face in an instant. “I wasn’t.”

“Yes, you were.”

“No, I wasn’t.”

Shiro sighs. “Keira, I just want to know who’s snapchatting you. I want to know who’s able to make you smile like that.”

Keira suddenly feels guilty, a little bit. “She’s this girl I work with. She’s really funny.”

Shiro smiles, wide. “What’s her name?”

“Lainey.”

“Can I see a picture?”

Keira shows her the one she just screenshotted.

Shiro laughs. “She’s so cute!”

“For real.”

Keira clicks on the next snap. There’s no filter on this one, it looks self timed. Lainey’s hunched over, sitting on the front desk’s stool. She’s leaned over, her hair brushing the sides of her midriff, swept back at the top. She’s carrying Aoi, whose head rests on the top of her breast. She looks like the living personification of the sun. Keira has never been so jealous of a cat before. She screenshots this picture, too.

Shiro’s looking at her when Keira looks away from her phone. “Keira. She seems nice. I’m glad she makes you happy.”

Later, Keira will deny any claims that she “blushed like a tomato” and “stammered so hard Shiro couldn’t understand her”.

…

January brings in a new year and rainy weather. As for Keira, she’s taking less shifts at _the Castle_ thanks to Pidge, and it shows in her grades. Her mom’s lace-up doc martens from the eighties stay intact but don’t protect her from the rain, and not for the first time, she considers getting the actual boots (the difference being that this time, she could actually afford them). Alor and Pidge start having slumber parties, as the oldest and youngest in their little group. Lainey, Hunk, and Pidge consider starting a Dungeons and Dragons campaign, but they don’t have a moderator. They ask Alor, but he just wants to join as a regular campaign member. They ask Keira but she just laughs; she doesn’t have a creative bone in her body.

Corinne gets sick and they all freak out, especially Alor. Apparently Alor calls Corinne old in the middle of work, which had Pidge spam texting the groupchat, which then ends up pissing Alor off when he checks it (that’s right, Keira got added to a groupchat). Keira gets food poisoning from Hunk, once. She felt super guilty after so Keira kept reassuring her that it was fine, but the truth was that it was a little touch and go for a little bit. Alor takes Keira to a black lives matter fundraiser but gets distracted by all the free food. It’s okay, though, Keira gets distracted by the Ava DuVernay documentary that’s playing.

Lainey goes to a shit ton of parties in short, sparkly dresses, and spams her with pictures. Keira really likes the dresses, really likes that she’s the first person Lainey texts when she’s drunk. Hunk always snaps pictures of her broken heels the next day (that’s right, they have a snapchat group, too). Keira comes over to watch Disney movies with Hunk, who apparently loves Disney more than life itself. The princess movies are reserved for Lainey and the DCOMs for Pidge, but Hunk watches the rest with her. They watch Big Hero Six and Tadashi reminds her of Shiro.

Even in the dead of winter, Lainey wears athletic shorts at home, sometimes when Keira’s over. Keira watches the backs of her thighs when she bends over, watches as the shorts cling to her ass. Keira always gets sweaty and really, really aroused.

Shiro stays in her room. Sunny days grow more and more infrequent, in the winter.

Keira worries.

…

Lainey is laughing as Keira struggles to lock the staff door. Keira isn’t sure at what, exactly (probably her), but she feels a smile growing on her face, anyways. Lainey’s laughter is infectious.

They’re wearing matching turtleneck thermals. Lainey’s mom had apparently bought them for the whole group over winter break. “She was saying something about America being too cold,” Lainey had said, rolling her eyes as she handed them over. “My mom is so cute, but so paranoid.”

Keira had been fluctuating between never wearing it because it was too special, and never taking it off because it was too special. She was in one of those second moods, now.

The joint is already dangling between Lainey’s lips when Keira turns around, door successfully locked. Keira smiles when she passes it over.

“You really fit in, here,” Lainey comments. Keira’s smile grows bigger.

“Really? You think?”

“For sure!” Lainey rubs her hands together, blows on them to keep warm. “I totally thought you’d be… you know, like a pissy, angsty. Generally rude. But you’re like. I dunno. Kind of the best.”

Keira edges closer to Lainey, crowding into her space, heart thumping in her ears. “Really? You think I’m the best? Really?”

Lainey pushes Keira away by the shoulders, laughing. “Yes, yes! Really.” She smiles downwards. “You’re not angsty or aggressive. You’re cute.”

Lainey’s lips aren’t shaped like a heart, but they remind Keira of one, anyways. She’s so close, Keira can feel her exhale on her nose.

Keira’s heart stops in her chest, her breath caught in her throat. Her eyes stutter frantically over Lainey’s face. “Lainey,” she whispers, her voice cracking slightly. “What are you doing?”

Lainey’s eyes look into hers, searching, questioning. Keira glances at her lips. It would be so easy, to fall forwards, to close the gap-

Lainey answers; presses her lips to Keira’s.

Keira’s still for a moment, in shock over the plush of Lainey’s lips, before she’s moving, raising her hands, cradling Lainey’s head between them, brushing over the side of her cheek with her thumb. Her skin is so soft. Keira feels the flutter of her lashes and moves forwards.

Lainey fists her hands in the hood of Keira’s coat, pulls her closer, closer. Keira’s head falls further to the left, and the new angle lets her press against Lainey completely. One of Keira’s hands slides up from her cheek, under her ear and into her soft hair. They fall against the brick wall of the building and Lainey moans, lowly. Their mouths open, meet, their tongues gently melding together. Keira’s face tingles, pleasure sent from little points in her lips to throughout her body.

Keira feels Lainey’s hands clutch her hair, the back of her scalp as Keira presses kiss after kiss onto her lips, her cheeks, her chin, down her throat.

Keira breaks away, their mouths separating with a soft smeck. Lainey’s eyes are glossy, the color from her lips gone, rubbed away.

“Okay?” Keira asks, voice hoarse.

“Uh-huh,” Lainey responds, staring at her lips, and Keira plunges in for more.

…

The music from the apartment is so loud, Keira can hear it, feel it, from down below. Bright lights from indoors flash into the night. Keira practically skips from one step to the next, ecstatic as she rings the doorbell. The man who opens the door is huge, muscly, and very dark skinned. His dreads are twisted in a knot on his head and fall past his shoulders, his hair almost completely dyed a yellow-y blonde. He was kind of beautiful, in a painterly way.

“Hello,” Keira says, her voice faint. The guy just cocks an eyebrow at her, steps aside to let her in.

“Nima, stop brooding over her like a weirdo,” Hunk appears next to him, and Keira slumps over in relief. “You’re totally freaking her out.”

Shooting a tight smile in his direction, Keira leans over to Hunk. “I thought we were having Saturday night dinner?”

“We were,” Hunk says, “Then Nima came over. With the good Molly.”

Sure enough, when Keira leans away, Hunk’s pupils are dilated massively, her hair in disarray. Keira nods. “Where’s Pidge?”

“Kitchen,” Hunk says before wandering off, leaving Keira alone again with the scary, gorgeous man for a few awkward moments before she heads off to the kitchen.

She finds Pidge sourly sucking on a Capri Sun. “What’s up, dude?”

“Nothing,” they mumble, angrily eyeing whoever’s on the couch. Keira turns to see Lainey hanging upside down, hair tumbling towards the ground, laughing. Keira’s heart flutters at the sight. Next to her is some platinum blonde girl with a beanie on. Keira turns away.

“Why’re you mad?” she asks.

“I’m not mad!” Pidge cries. “I’m not mad.”

“You seem mad,” Keira says.

“Whatever, Keira,” Pidge rolls their eyes, hops off the counter, walks away.

Keira makes her way to the couch, feeling kind of like she’s interrupting. Lainey’s eyes light up when they catch sight of her.

“Ohmygosh, Keira!” she says, excited. “Rola, this is Keira. Keira, this is Rola.”

Rola gives her a lazy smile and a head nod. “So this is the woman of the hour.”

Keira scratches her elbow, uncomfortable.

“ _Shhh_ ,” Lainey giggles, pressing her palm against Rola’s mouth. “Fuck off.”

Rola gets up. “Call me if you need anything.”

“Yes, actually, can you get the blue label from the counter?” Lainey’s eyes slide to Keira.

“Hi there.” She’s grinning. Keira sits in front of her, criss cross applesauce, grinning back. Lainey’s grins are contagious. Lainey reaches for Keira, her long fingers sliding along her cheeks and into her hair. She leans forwards, kisses Keira.

Keira exhales, kisses back. Tongues at Lainey’s upper lip, sucks it into her mouth. Aims to go deeper, but feels Lainey start to laugh against her, smile going wide. Keira grins again. They break apart, lips still barely touching, Lainey’s laughter between them.

Rola comes into the room then, handing Lainey a Johnnie Walker as she sits upright, patting her on the head at Lainey’s responding “thank you” and beam. Lainey’s so beautiful.

“So, listen,” Lainey says, beckoning Keira on the couch, “I invited Shane.”

Who? “Who?”

Lainey rolls her eyes, comically, taking Keira’s hands and placing them on her waist as she lays back against the couch, her knees facing Keira. She was wearing a short, tight, pale pink dress with a sweetheart neckline and puffy sleeves. Tiny embroidered strawberries covered the garment. “It’s the guy Hunk’s been trying to get with! Remember?”

Keira does remember. She raises her eyebrows. “Seriously? You invited him?”

“Yup,” Lainey says, popping the p. Keira swipes her thumb along her ribcage. The tip of it brushes the underside of her breast.

“What about his sister? What if she comes in and walks in on you and Hunk chugging Johnnie Walker?” Keira says, laughing.

At it’s mention, Lainey seems to remember it’s there and drinks. Keira watches her throat work as she swallows. “Want some?”

Keira drinks, too, feels it burn down her throat as she stares at Lainey. Lainey’s staring back, making steady eye contact as she smiles, biting her lower lip.

Keira’s hands are on her again, scotch forgotten as she surges forwards and captures Lainey’s lips between hers. They fall back against the couch, Keira on top of Lainey. Lainey’s hands are framing her face, thumbs brushing along her cheekbones. The hands Keira has on her waist drop lower, beneath the hem of her dress, then travel higher. Keira licks at her top lip, then _sucks_ , hotly, moaning into Lainey’s mouth. She pushes the hem of Lainey’s skirt up, slightly, enough to grab her perfectly shaped ass, thumbs at the lace of Lainey’s panties. Lainey’s so wet. _Keira’s_ so wet.

She adjusts herself, leaning to bracket Lainey in, her thigh wedged between Lainey’s. Lainey pushes herself down onto Keira’s leg, gasping into her mouth. She’s drenched, her underwear dripping wet. It’s so hot. She’s so hot.

“ _Mhn_ …”

The sound travels. The backs of Keira’s ears burn. She’s throbbing, she’s so wet. She wants Lainey to make that noise again. Keira grabs her ass more firmly, her nails digging into her flesh. Lainey whimpers, her hips stuttering against Keira’s thigh. Keira’s hands travel down lower, her thumb moving to trace over the lips of Lainey’s pussy, over her hole-

And feels herself rising in the air as she promptly gets yanked off of Lainey. Keira’s eyes widen as she scrambles to break free from the hold on her waist. Face burning, Lainey wrenches down the hem of her dress.

“Hunk!” Is _that_ who’s carrying her?

“Lainey!” and Hunk’s voice is watery, teary, and the embarrassment from both of their faces vanish as alarm and concern quickly replaces it.

“Are you okay? What happened? Do you want to talk about it?” Lainey climbs over the back of the couch to join Hunk where she sinks into the floor, Keira forgotten.

“It was Roxanne,” she sobs, “she came here out of nowhere and started yelling at me for being irresponsible and said that I was just pretending to be nice and that I-”

Keira gets up as Lainey wraps her arms around her, murmuring soothing phrases at her best friend. She walks over to the rest of the group, who’s standing at the front door. Nima’s got his arms folded across his chest, Rola’s scowling. Pidge looks downright murderous.

Nima scoffs. “Dumb chick doesn’t even know that her brother buys from me.”

Keira looks at Pidge, who’s glaring at the scene in front of them. Pidge sighs, walks over to the duo.

“You three should probably go,” Pidge says, over their shoulder, and Keira feels a pang at being grouped in with the other two. Nima and Rola exit with soft calls of farewell.

Keira lingers, then lingers in the doorway, then lingers in the stairwell before she starts to make her way downwards.

“Wait!” the door slams, and Lainey runs out, eyes wide and breathless. She’s wearing her winter jacket, the white one with the fuzzy hood. Keira jumps, startled at the noise.

“Um, yes?” she asks, still shaken.

Lainey smiles when she sees her. “I’ve gotta go back inside, I just wanted to give you-” she comes closer, places her hands on Keira’s jaw, and pecks her softly on the lips.

Keira feels herself break out into a slow, warm smile. Lainey’s lashes flutter, her eyes lower slightly, shyly. “Thanks for coming.”

“I’ll always come,” Keira says, softly. Stupidly. God, she’s so cheesy. Lainey looks up at her.

“Yeah, I know,” she whispers, like a secret. “Thanks.”

…

Keira is on cloud nine, the next morning, flipping over pancakes as she hums. Keira absolutely can not cook or bake in any capacity, but, in a good mood, felt like she might as well make breakfast for Shiro and bring it to her in bed instead of just leaving it outside her door.

She hears the doorbell ring, oddly. They didn’t usually get guests at seven in the morning.

“Coming!” she calls, flipping the last pancake onto a plate before opening the door, revealing-

“Hi,” Madeline says. Her hair is shorter than Keira remembers it; a pixie cut.

“What the fuck,” Keira says, and closes the door.

It’s silent for a little bit, then:

“Keira!” she pounds on the door.

Keira opens the door again. Blinks. No fucking way. “What on _earth_.”

Maddie grins, nervously. “How have you been?”

“Maddie,” and Keira’s getting misty-eyed. “I thought you… I thought you were-”

“Yeah,” Maddie says, softly. “A lot of people did.”

Keira takes a second to breathe, looks up at the sky. “Does Pidge know you’re here?”

“Uhh, yeah, actually,” Maddie says, “I’m staying with my parents. So.”

“Oh.”

“So. Can I come in?”

Keira barks a laugh, short, harsh, and probably a little mean. “Sorry! Sorry. Just. No.”

“...Oh.”

“Listen,” Keira says, stepping out of the apartment and closing the door incompletely, “I think Shiro would want you to know that you and your mom are like, the two people Shiro doesn’t blame for all of this. But she’s not in a super great place and- it’s just-”

Maddie smiles, downcast. “It’s okay. I get it.”

“Maddie…”

“Just,” Maddie takes a deep breath. “Tell her I’m doing okay, you know? That I’m awake. If she wants to talk to me, I’d love to talk to her. So.”

Keira smiles, nodding. “Of course.”

“Okay,” Maddie smiles again, “Well, I’ll see you later.”

Keira watches as she walks away, stares into the space where she once was even when she’s gone. She leans against the door when she closes it.

Fuck.

…

Tuesday morning, Lainey is posing with the cats in silly manners as she makes Keira take pictures for her streaks and cat-related private story. Keira is snickering, sending them all to herself so she can screenshot them later. Keira’s camera roll used to be pretty empty, barring homework and textbook pages and the occasional picture of Shiro. Now it’s mostly Lainey.

She’s making kissy faces at Aoi when one of the cats in another playpen vomits all over a pillow. Lainey just sighs and asks Keira to man the desk while she goes and gets the cleaning supplies. Keira watches her as she enters the storage room. Her jeans are blue. Lainey’s butt looks amazing in them.

She hears the jingle from the front of the store that meant a customer had just walked in. She straightens up, puts on her best customer greeting smile.

The customer is a tall blonde man with extreme dimples. He’s kind of muscular. He’s very pretty, in the way that Alor is; conventional. He gives off the vibe that he’s easy to talk to.

He lumbers up to the desk and Keira is kind of afraid he’s going to hit on her. He asks,

“Are you new? I’ve never seen you around before!”

“No.”

“...Oh! When did you start working here?”

“Around half a year ago.”

The guy blinks, still smiling, but off put. “Is-”

They both turn, alarmed, when they hear a crash from the storage room. The cleaning supplies are on the floor and Lainey stares at the man in front of them, a shocked expression on her face.

Before anything else can happen, Lainey _screams_ ; bolts at the blonde guy before jumping on top of him in a clingy hug.

The guy laughs, his voice muffled. He brings his broad hands to her back, patting her gently. “Hey, Lane, how’s it hanging?”

“I _missed_ you,” Lainey responds, emphatically. “Never get an internship again.”

Keira frowns, clears her throat. “Um, who are you? Lainey’s boyfriend or something?”

The guy and Lainey look at her, then each other. And burst into laughter.

“No way, no way!” Lainey says, sliding off of him. “Oh my goodness. No, we are not like that. We have never been like that.”

“I used to work here,” the guy explains, and understanding dawns on Keira. Oh. “My name’s Raimon.”

“Actually…” Lainey gets that impish look on her face, the one that makes Keira inexplicably tie mischief and Lainey together in her brain. “Hey, Alor! Come out for a second!”

Alor steps out of his office, distracted. “Yes, what’s going on? I heard you scream, but I honestly just assumed it wasn’t important-”

Alor falters when he catches sight of the blonde man, who gives a small smile upon seeing him. “Hey, Alor.”

“Raimon,” Alor says, breathlessly, and then grins widely. He makes his way over, gives Raimon a hug.

Lainey bobs her eyebrows up and down at Keira, who just shakes her head in confusion. Lainey sighs, and comes closer.

“Make sense, now?” she whispers, pointing her head in the duo’s direction. Eyebrows narrowed in bewilderment, Keira looks over to see Alor delicately push a curl away from Raimon’s head.

Her eyebrows relaxed. Oh.

Keira had no idea Alor had any romantic desires, had thought he would just grow old alone surrounded by cats and history books. She tells Lainey so.

Alor and Raimon look over at Lainey’s shriek of laughter.

…

“ _Mmn_ …”

Lainey’s pushed up against the brick wall of _the Castle_ , Keira trapping her in with her arms, Lainey’s hands fisted at the back of her head. They’re making out, hot, heavy, heady, and Keira’s head swims with it, her cunt throbbing. She bites at Lainey’s lips, and Lainey opens them, moaning. Keira licks into her mouth, tasting at her tongue a little at a time, before sucking gently. Lainey whimpers, slides down a little bit so her mouth is easier to access.

Keira’s hands move down, underneath her oversized flannel and underneath her little crop top. Her hands run along Lainey’s stomach, her ribs, delve under her bra and swipe over her boobs. Lainey breaks away, her head falling backwards.

“ _A-Ah-h_ , Keira…”

Keira takes the opportunity to run her nose along Lainey’s perfect, perfect neck, to lick at that spot under her jaw, to suck at her earlobe. Keira’s hands move to her back, run along her spine, go down to her ass. Lainey’s back arches off the wall as she makes a high pitched noise.

“Keira, _wait_ ,” Lainey says breathlessly, hands clutching her sleeves, panting hotly against Keira’s mouth. Keira stills. “We’re in public.”

Keira blinks, staring at Lainey’s kiss bitten lips. “Yeah.”

“So let’s move this somewhere private?” she murmurs, her lips skimming across Keira’s throat, her jaw. She sucks at Keira’s neck while her hand drifts down her torso, slides into her pants, rubs at her slit over her panties. Keira’s lashes flutter, hips twitch, her mouth falls open.

“ _Unh... U-h-hhh… Lainey_ …”

“But Hunk’s at mine,” Lainey says, rushed, face buried in the juncture between her neck and shoulder.

“Mine,” Keira gasps, scrambling at Lainey’s shoulders. “Get on my bike. Let’s go to mine.”

Keira’s going a good twenty miles over the speed limit, feels Lainey’s hair tickle her neck even as she wears her leather jacket. It was curled today. She parks the bike a little jerkily, definitely too sudden considering she has a first time rider with her. Lainey’s face is pale, drained when she gets off the bike, but she follows Keira as she hustles to the elevator.

Keira’s on her when the door closes. “Tell me if it’s okay,” she murmurs, a hand on one of Lainey’s cheeks and her lips on the other, “Tell me, I can’t wait.”

“Yes, _yes_ ,” Lainey’s mumbling, her lips catching against Keira’s for a moment, her mouth meshing against hers, hot, wet. She licks the seam of her mouth, her tongue, the roof. Oh god, oh god, Keira’s so, _so_ wet.

Keira’s grabbing Lainey, clutching at her breasts and digging into her bare skin. Soft, soft. Lainey was so soft, so delicate, yet so flexible and strong at the same time. Keira wanted to bend her over. She wanted to spread her legs open, up, see how far she could go. Lainey makes a sound, a punched out gasp every time Keira’s hands run past a sensitive spot on her body.

“ _Keira_ ,” she gasps, “The elevator. It’s opening.”

With a wet noise, Keira detaches herself from Lainey’s neck, her hands shoving into her pockets. There’s no one there when the door opens.

Lainey’s nose is almost in her hair when Keira stands to unlock her apartment’s front door. Keira can feel her hot breath on the back of her neck. She just wants to let her head fall to the side and let Lainey suck at her throat and collar. She wants to let Lainey hold her against the door, fuck her with her fingers.

Lainey clambers on top of her, winds her arms around her neck and her legs around her waist once the door opens. Keira slams the door shut with her foot, feels around until she locks it, then grabs Lainey’s ass. Lainey’s mouth finds hers, sucks, and they’re making out again. Keira kicks open her bedroom door when she finds it.

She throws Lainey onto the bed, closes the door again. Lainey’s unclasped her own bra by the time Keira turns around, the crop top clinging to the edge of her breasts. She looks obscene. She looks beautiful. She looks like a wet dream. Keira wants to put her mouth on her.

She tugs off her pants, her shirt. She buries her face between Lainey’s boobs, before biting into one. Gasping, Lainey arcs into her mouth.

“Your boobs are perfect,” Keira mumbles, dragging her lips against Lainey’s skin, “Your ass is perfect. You’re perfect.”

Keira hears Lainey’s breathless laugh, feels her move. Keira whines as she moves away, tries to follow her.

“Stop it, I’m trying to take my jeans off,” Lainey says, giggling. Keira leans back against the headboard as Lainey bounces back on to the bed. Her panties are lavender, with white lace on the borders. They’re also soaked. Lainey’s completely drenched, slick sliding down her thighs and dripping onto the sheets. “Holy shit,” Keira marvels, grabbing Lainey’s ass and hauling her forwards. Lainey’s on her heels, her legs spread like a tent around Keira’s, who’s got it propped up so her knee almost- _almost_ \- touches Lainey’s pussy. “You’re so fucking wet.”

Lainey whimpers. Keira looks up at her face. Her eyes are dark, her face red.

Lainey takes her hands, places them on the skin between the end of her crop top and the beginning of her underwear. Her hips thrust shallowly in the hair, the edges of her cunt grazing Keira’s skin.

“Look,” Lainey says, softly, “Look how wet I am for you, baby.”

Breathing in, Keira grabs the edges of her panties, pulls them up, gently. Lainey’s hips thrust down hard as her slit curls around the stretched garment. Slick smears along Lainey’s pussy.

Lainey’s eyes are hazy, her mouth open, slightly. Keira zeroes in on it. She raises her hands, uses her thumbs to trace the plush red of her lower lip. She pushes them in. Lainey whimpers. Her knees slide to the side, lowering her pussy closer to Keira’s leg. Keira shudders when Lainey’s tongue loops around one of her thumbs. She hooks the other one in the side of her mouth.

Keira pulls up the edge of Lainey’s crop top, pulling it above her breasts, placing it in Lainey’s mouth for her to bite on. Her hands fall to Lainey’s hip bones as she leans forwards, licking Lainey’s nipples.

Lainey’s hips slam down, hard, and she lets out a loud moan at the contact with Keira’s thigh. Her fingers edge closer to her own cunt and Keira growls, yanks her wrists away and holds them together behind her back. Lainey whimpers, noisily, and falls backwards.

“You’re so beautiful,” Keira whispers, eyes roaming around Lainey’s face. The shirt falls out of Lainey’s mouth, remains bunched up above her boobs. Lainey’s breath comes in quick, shallow pants. While one hand keeps Lainey’s wrists pinned together, Keira uses the other to tug off her panties. It settles above Lainey’s entrance when she’s done.

Lips grazing Lainey’s, Keira murmurs, “Spread your legs for me, baby.”

Lainey lifts her legs up in a straight line, her thighs on the mattress and her pussy on full display, glistening wet. “Please,” she moans, “Please, _please_ , Keira, baby, I need you, I need-”

She gasps, arcing off the bed as Keira drags two heavy fingers from the base of her cunt to her clit. She’s whining, babbling now.

“Give it to me, I need it, I need you-” Keira traces her hole, watches as it flutters and drools around the tip of her thumb when she pushes in, slightly. Her clit is throbbing, her whole pussy soaking, slick pooling into a puddle beneath her. “Keira, Keira, baby, _please_ -”

Dragging her fingers through Lainey’s wetness, she swirls her fingers around her clit. “I got you, sweetheart. It’s okay,” she whispers against Lainey’s lips. Lainey makes a punched out noise, keeps making them, her hips jerking against her fingers, humping the air. She surges up, suddenly, breaking against the hold Keira has on her hands.

“K-Keira, I’m c-comi- _ng_ …” she gasps, burying her hands in Keira’s hair before she cries out, her eyes rolling back slightly. Lainey gushes, shakes through her orgasm, and then promptly rolls her hips back onto Keira’s fingers.

“In me, fuck me, Keira, fuck me, fuck me,” she pants, open mouthed against Keira’s face. Keira licks Lainey’s bottom lip before hooking two fingers into her cunt, thumb flicking across her pulsing clit. She’s so fucking wet. She clenches around Keira, who drags her thumb through the sloppy mess of her pussy before pressing down on her clit, insistently, denying Lainey a break. Lainey’s eyes fly open, gushes again, slick dribbling further down Keira’s hand.

Keira moves away, lets her breathe. Shifts uncomfortably. She’s throbbing. Probably as soaked as Lainey is, honestly.

She looks up in alarm when she hears Lainey moan, sees her grinning, biting down on her lip, her legs splayed widely. Playing with herself.

Keira breathes out, gustily. Lainey’s edging nearer, closer to Keira’s cunt. She’s so close Keira can feel her hot breath on her. Keira clenches down on nothing. She looks as Lainey drags a finger through her folds, presses on her clit. Her eyes bore into Keira’s.

“Can I-?”

“Yes,” Keira gasps, and holds on for more.

…

Keira wakes up groggily to the sound of a dog barking- but like, a very tiny, very far away dog. She lifts her head, confused, until she spots Lainey.

Lainey’s got her phone somewhat propped on her boobs, face melding into her neck as she watches some sort of video. She turns to Keira when she feels her move.

“Hey dude,” she offers, “Wanna watch this video of a great dane being friends with a bunny?”

Keira nods, the movement small, and leans closer to Lainey, who holds up the phone to show her. Keira yawns after they’ve been watching it for a little while, rubbs at her eyes, her face.

“What time is it?” she asks, sleepily.

“Eight oh three,” Lainey responds, swiping down on her phone. “Why?”

“No reason,” Keira says, sitting up. “I’m just gonna make breakfast.”

She scans the floor for her panties. She picks them up, wrinkles her nose. They’re _still_ drenched. Ew.

She stands up, stretching, pulls on the bra from the previous night. Opens her closet and trifles through it, pulls on another pair of panties.

Lainey groans, annoyed, from the bed. “Shit, _shit_ ,” she swears. “Fuck, I gotta wear my jeans. I am so not in the mood for that right now.”

“You can borrow one of my pants,” Keira offers. Lainey blinks.

“Really? You don’t mind?”

Keira shrugs. “Why would I?”

Lainey beams, Keira’s heart screams. “Alright, then.”

Keira tosses her a pair of grey sweatpants as she searches for a shirt to pull on. She’s got one over her head when she hears:

“Wait a minute,” Lainey says, “are these… could they be? Are these from Brandy Melville?”

Keira rolls her eyes, pulls on her Nike shorts. “Whatever.”

“I can’t believe it,” Lainey snickers, “she has a closet fashion sense!”

Keira sighs. “Dude, they don’t even fit me. My thighs are too muscly. You can have them, if you want.”

Lainey’s still snickering as she looks around the room. She stops when she sees her underwear, picks it up, grimacing. “Gross.”

Keira’s lips quirk up, amused. “I’m gonna make crepes, okay? Join me when you’re ready.”

Lainey waves dismissively as Keira leaves the room. She chuckles, shaking her head.

That girl. Keira’s drawn into her orbit when she’s around, like an aimless satellite captured by her gravitational pull. She’s giddy, constantly, smiling and laughing and feeling light in the chest even if there’s nothing to feel light about. Lainey makes her think improperly, makes her brain go fuzzy. Keira even thinks about her when she’s not around, like a fucking-

Keira hears a thud from Shiro’s bedroom, and dread washes over her like a cold shower. She scrambles towards her sister’s room, halting with a sick feeling when she sees-

Lainey’s standing in the doorway, wearing one of Keira’s graphic tees. It was baby blue and just shy of too small on her, pulling tight at the breasts.

Lainey walks in and Keira’s heart plummets as she hears Shiro’s shaky, terrified breaths. Lainey crouches down, slowly, the way she does when she approaches some of the testier cats at the rescue. She lowers her head, peeking underneath the blanket.

Gently, she says, “Hey, there. I’m Lainey. I’m gonna need you to do something for me, okay?”

She seems to notice Keira, then. She shoots her a smile, but it’s calm, her brown eyes serious. “Hey, girl. Could you get me a glass of water with a ton of ice in it, please?”

Keira nods, the movement aborted, bewildered, and spins on her heels to go get some. When she comes back, she hears Lainey’s voice murmuring, softly, counting from one to ten. She’s breathing in slowly, has Shiro’s hand placed at the base of her throat as a guide.

Keira scurries over, handing Lainey the glass of water. She takes it, turns to Shiro.

“You think you’re okay enough to drink this?” At some movement below the blanket, Lainey hands it over.

Keira stares at Lainey in wonder. Lainey returns the stare with a smile, a self conscious laugh. “What?”

Keira just shakes her head. “Nothing, just… Thank you.”

…

“It wasn’t cool or anything,” Lainey says later, a little embarrassed. “I was just trying to be helpful. Any other properly educated person could’ve done a better job, I’m sure.”

Keira smears nutella onto the crepe before her. “Yeah, but how many people do you know actually know how to do that?” It wasn’t just that, though. Other people probably would’ve freaked out, start judging Keira. Or start judging Shiro.

Lainey just reached out to Shiro, with no judgement, and sent love through her fingertips.

“True.” Lainey turns when the door in the hallway opens. “Hey, she’s coming out.”

“What!” Keira twirls around. Sure enough, Shiro is walking out of her room-...in… _actual clothes_. She’s got a pair of her trusty black jeans on, and one of Ryo’s molecular biology shirts over her.

“What!” Keira hears Lainey squawk, turns to see her eyes bugging out of her head. Throwing her arms up, she falls off the countertop chair.

“What the hell!”

Shiro rushes over, kneels. “Are you okay?”

Lainey turns about thirty different shades of red. Keira scowls. “Y-You’re Takako Shirogane!”

Shiro laughs, sheepishly, places her hand on her head. “Yeah, I guess I am.”

Lainey stares, flabbergasted, like a fish out of water. “I’m like! Your biggest fan!”

Shiro keeps laughing, flustered. “I have fans?”

“Shiro,” Keira interrupts, loudly. “This is Lainey.”

Shiro’s eyebrows raise in understanding. “Ohhh. You’re Keira’s Lainey.”

Lainey’s head whips over to Keira at that. “Hey. You. What does she mean.” Now standing, she boxes Keira in against the kitchen counter and pokes at her waist. “What does she mean, hmm?”

Laughing, Keira bats her away. “Nothing, nothing. She doesn’t mean anything. I don’t know why she said that!”

Lainey pokes at her waist again and grins at her, all red lips and dimples.

Shiro’s smiling at them, a gentle look in her eyes when they part. She sits down next to Lainey. (Keira makes it A Point not to notice the way Lainey goes bright red, at that.)

“Hey,” Shiro says, turning fully towards her. “I just wanted to say… thank you. Seriously. I know it’s-... Anyways. I’m sorry you had to see me like that.”

“Hey,” Lainey says, places a hand on Shiro’s forearm. She looks kind, a little vengeful. “It’s not a problem. Okay? Don’t apologize.”

Keira smiles.

…

Lainey ends up staying with them the whole day, deciding she wants to make seafood paella. When Shiro tells her she’s vegetarian, Lainey decides to supplement the seafood with tofu.

“Isn’t that just tofu paella?” Keira wonders aloud.

“We don’t have any paella rice, so wouldn’t it just be tofu and rice?” rebuts Shiro.

Lainey smacks both of them in the face with her wooden spoon. “Shut the fuck up, both of you.”

She rolls her eyes when they laugh, but she’s smiling, too.

Lainey learns a lot about Shiro, that day, and to be honest, Keira does, too. It’s not like Keira didn’t know these things about Shiro before. It’s just, after the accident, Shiro changed a lot. Keira’s relearning information about her, but she’s also learning about this new Shiro for the first time.

Lainey and Shiro both bond over their mutual weird obsession with televised sports. Lainey loves the Sparks, Warriors, and Steph Curry with equal fervor, which Shiro thinks is really weird. Her northeastern gay self is obsessed with the Nets and the Chicago Sky. Lainey loves the forty niners, and Shiro, the Cowboys (because apparently being texan was wasted on Keira). They both hate the patriots and Tom Brady’s racist ass with a passion.

Their conversation on soccer dissolves into bemoaning how women are treated in sports and the wage gap and quickly moves into how much they want Megan Rapinoe to be president (Keira isn’t sure they’re joking). Keira’s pretty lost in all this, but she thinks it means they both like America.

Lainey quickly learns there isn’t a feminine bone in Shiro’s body. “Wow,” she says when Shiro reveals that she likes bermuda shorts, “and I thought Keira was the fashionably dead one.”

Keira sputters when she hears this. “I’m very girly! I wear makeup every day!”

Silence. Then, laughter.

The conversation gets heavy, fast, when Lainey-... asks. About it.

“If you don’t mind me asking, that is,” she says quickly, “I don’t want to be invasive, I’m just curious and I know talking is helpful.”

Keira looks over at Shiro, who shakes her head. “It’s fine, it’s just-...” she takes a deep breath. “I was in a car accident, except. It wasn’t really an accident.”

Lainey’s eyebrows shoot up as she drains the tofu. “Woah. That’s intense.”

With an encouraging look from Keira, she continues. “I was accompanying Nobel prize winner Samantha Holt and her daughter on an expedition into the arctic sea. I was just their submarine operator. They were inspecting an element that might have been linked to primordial soup- if we could synthetically replicate it, it could’ve been really valuable.”

Shiro breathes in again. “There was a company, Galra industries? That wanted to have access to it. They would’ve paid a lot, but, Dr. Holt didn’t want to, on the basis that it was immoral. When we got back to the states from Kerberos, I was driving them home, and then,” Shiro’s voice breaks, she places her head in her hands, her elbows on her knees.

“Um. A car rammed into us. And again. And again. I didn’t… I didn’t know what to do. I drove off the road, into the forest. When we were far enough away, I got them both out and called for help, but…”

Shiro takes a shaky breath. She’s crying. Lainey’s on the other side of her, murmuring soothingly, running her arm comfortingly along her back. “Dr. Holt was heavily injured. She’s fine now, but… and Maddie-... Madeline was comatose… I don’t know if she’ll ever wake up…”

Keira sits quietly, her ears ringing. She’d known Shiro was in a car crash, and that it was probably at the hands of Galra. She hadn’t known that Shiro had tried to escape them. They… hadn’t talked about it. When Keira had learned that Shiro might not have come back alive from the situation… devastated was too mellow of a word to use. After losing her mom, the thought of losing someone else so important to her- the fact that she almost actually _did_ , Shiro teetering on the line of alive and dead for _three whole months_ -

The last straw, Keira knew, was when Shiro had woken up to learn that Addison had-

They hadn’t been together, then, had broken up months before Kerberos had even happened. But Shiro… hadn’t been okay.

Keira regretted not getting to know Addison while she was alive (partly because Ryo really didn’t like her). Keira didn’t want to regret missing out on the Holts, knowing how much they meant to Shiro, so she took the extra steps to get closer to Pidge and their parents, even visiting Maddie at the hospital.

Suddenly, Keira remembers. “Wait! Maddie woke up!”

“What?” Shiro’s head snapped up. “Why didn’t you tell me?”

Keira feels her cheeks flushing, guiltily. “I totally forgot. I’m sorry.”

It’s awkward, for a moment, before Lainey pokes up. “Guys!” She says, “That’s good news! We should celebrate!”

“Oh? Celebrate how?”

“Weeeeeell…” Lainey moves back over to the tofu, places it in the pan. “Seafood paella!”

“Tofu rice,” Keira deadpans. It breaks the tension; Shiro erupts into laughter as Lainey throws a spoon at her. Keira catches Lainey looking at Shiro with a look Keira finds herself giving her sister more often than not; a tender look, but one full of concern.

...

Lainey stays longer. They eat veggie booty and smores while they burn through the pirates of the caribbean movies. They all moon over Keira Knightley. They pop open beer cans and play twenty questions and fuck, marry, kill. Keira and Lainey keep giving each other Hunk and then marrying Hunk to the point where Shiro, frustratedly, flat out asks, “Okay, who the hell is Hunk?” and they, a little drunk, burst into giggles.

While eating dinner, Lainey casually asks, “Hey Shiro, have you ever tried weed?” Which makes Shiro laugh so hard she coughs up her rice, and Keira spurt kool aid out her nose.

“Me? Weed?” Shiro laughs harder.

Lainey smiles, lopsided, and shrugs. “I dunno. It helped me a lot, with my anxiety, at least. I mean, different bodies work differently, but…”

Shiro shakes her head amicably at Lainey’s well meaning thoughts. “I’m not too sure, but. I’ll talk to my doctor.”

It’s almost eight when Lainey finally decides to leave. “Next time, I’ll bring over _The Holy Mountain_ and some pot. That’ll _definitely_ be an interesting experience.”

“Oh no,” Shiro bemoans from the floor. “She’s a film snob. Watch out, Keira, your girlfriend’s gonna turn out to be a Jean Luc-Goddard fan. I knew there had to be _something wrong_ with her.”

Keira’s sure her face is bright red, boiling to the touch. When she looks up, Lainey’s is, too.

“I’ll walk you out,” she mumbles.

They stand in the entrance, the door shut behind them. Keira looks up into the stars that fill Lainey’s satin-brown eyes. The tips of their noses brush. Her eyelids drop. She whispers, “Can I…?”

Keira’s nodding as she pulls her closer by the waist. Their lips meet, Lainey’s hands in Keira’s hair again as Keira curls one arm around her waist and places the other just under her shirt, digging into her midriff, grazing her breast. Lainey was so beautiful. Keira runs her tongue along her lips and they press together, open mouthed. Keira never wanted to take her hands off of her.

Lainey breaks away with a wet noise. “Here,” she thrusts a lavender piece of paper into her hands. “Read it when I’m gone, okay?”

Keira nods, eyes dazed, and Lainey leans forwards again, mouth open, warm, wet. Keira moans. Lainey pulls away again.

“Okay I really have to go,” she breathes out in a rush, glances down again at Keira’s lips. Pecks her one last time, spins around so fast her hair whips in Keira’s face.

“Okay bye!” she calls, waving as she runs down the stairs. Keira touches her lips. She wants more.

She opens the lavender note and smiles.

_Some thoughts:_

_-you’re so attractive. Like you’re not skinny but you’re all muscly and you’re wiry and sometimes the sun shines on you or I see your legs from behind and just. ugh. you’re so cute._

_-Your clothes are so weird??? why are you always wearing grey or black graphic tees and only that? And they’re either like cool and science-y or they’re flat out animals. I don’t know whether you’re getting your clothes from a residency student or like, gymboree_

_-My favorite thing in the world is when you smile_

_-I want to take you to the beach. Varadero_

_-I want to hold your hand_

_-Mi alma nace a la orilla de tus ojos de luto/ En tus ojos de luto comienza el país del sueño_

_-^^remind me to give you that book_

…

Keira’s been watching Lainey, ever since that day. She tries not to, slightly horrified at herself, but-

She can’t help it.

Her eyes are constantly tracing over her, following her around as if she were a beacon of light. She’s always talking about her. In secluded pockets of time, Keira lets herself be overcome by Lainey; drowns in the noises she makes, how sweet she smells, how soft she is, how warm her body is pressed against her own. She can’t stop thinking about her- she’s the first thing she thinks about when she wakes up and the last thing she thinks about when she falls asleep.

Keira watches. Lainey can talk to anyone- be nice to absolutely _anyone_. When Keira talks to strangers, she sweats, her heart beats in her chest a mile a minute, she stammers. Lainey’s so easy to talk to, everyone she chatted with immediately felt like she was one of their closest friends. Lainey’s super expressive and falsely dramatic because she thinks that it’s funny and that it’ll bring a smile to everyone’s face. Lainey prioritizes her friends over everything else- Keira can’t forget the time she walked into the staff room Saturday morning to see Lainey holding Hunk’s hands within her palms, comfortingly, lovingly, as Hunk cried (either over a chemistry grade or her boyfriend’s shitty sister. Keira honestly can’t tell you which one’s worse).

Lainey treats everything with love. She cradles the plants decorating Alor’s windowsill. She plays with the cats with gentleness and kindness, treats them as if they were her own. When kids come in, she kneels so she’s eye to eye with them. She doesn’t talk down to them, nods along seriously at whatever nonsense they spout.

When Keira looks at her, she feels like she’s looking at the sun.

She’s… beautiful.

…

Keira can’t stop staring at the dude that just walked in. He isn’t particularly eye catching, really, he just looks… so familiar. He’s about the same height as her, has sick indigo hair. He’s peering into the playpens, a quiet look of excitement in his eyes, though his face remains composed.

Keira feels someone clap her on the shoulder, looks up to see Alor smiling down softly at her. “Go. Take the customer, there’s no one in the veterinary office right now.”

Keira nods, slides around the desk. She approaches the customer, no smile on her face. Lainey had once tried to make her smile at customers, only to learn that Keira was really only capable of grimacing on command. Lainey gave up, after that.

“Hey, welcome to _the Castle of Lions_. Need anything?” Keira fucking nailed that. Remind her to thank Lainey later.

The guy turns to her, gives her a quick smile, and Keira feels the deja-vu like a wave. Who _is_ this kid.

“Uh- I just… are we allowed to play with the cats in the play pen?”

Keira smiles, genuine. She likes this guy. “For sure, dude. Which one?” Corinne had labeled the four playpens as the Air, Land, Sea, and Lion playpens. Hunk had thought the last one should’ve been sun or fire or something. Keira agreed. Corinne had told them to fuck off.

“Uh… that one?” he points to the Lion playpen. Keira nods, unlocks the door.

She joins him in the playpen once it’s shut. There always had to be an employee in the playpen if a customer was in it; just another rule. He crouches down to greet the kitties.

“Who’s this one?” he asks, quiet, as Midori walks up to him, eyeing him warily.

“That’s Midori,” Keira informs him, sitting down on one of the tuffets scattered about the room. “We can’t decide whether Midorin or Midoriya is a better nickname for him.”

Midori runs away when the dude reaches out. He huffs, annoyed.

“So… what brings you to Arus?” Keira asks as Aka runs up to greet her, winding along her torso. Lainey told her to always hold conversation. Apparently it builds relationships, encourages repeat customers, or whatever.

“I- uh. I moved here to be with my ex girlfriend.”

Keira winces. “Oh… uh. Sorry, buddy.”

Aka leaves her, bounds up to the customer, prances on his legs, curls up in his lap. The guy grins, laugh lines carved deep into his face. Who is he reminding her of?

“It’s okay. I’ve got my friends.”

“...Oh. How nice.” Keira’s so fucking socially awkward. She doesn’t know how to respond.

The guy smiles up at her. “You know, we’re part of this kind of revolution based, activist, political group? It’s called Blade of Marmora, you should check them out.”

Blade of Marmora. Keira’s never heard of it. “I’ll look them up. You ready to get something, or consider adopting a cat?”

The guy looks thoughtful. “Um… maybe not just yet. I’ll make a donation, though. And pick up a pamphlet. I’m trying to convince my dad to get a cat.”

“Sure!” Keira leads him to the cash register. “And how much will you be giving us, today?” Keira asks when he hands her the card. She types in the number he gives her.

“And what name should I put the donation under?” she asks.

He grins, eyes glinting. “Axac.”

…

Keira hears it before she sees it:

“...Oh, really?” Hunk, in a cute frilly yellow crop top, is talking to a customer at the counter. Keira enters through the back door, the way she always does when she drives her bike to work. She sees Raimon fill up a backpack; he’d started working here again pretty immediately after he’d come back. Keira learns that Corinne was actually planning on giving the shop to Raimon and Alor after she retired- turns out, Raimon’s a business kid.

He had been super helpful after his return. Keira frankly hadn’t realized how much stress she’d been under.

“Hey, Hunk,” she calls, hanging her windbreaker- back again for the rainy spring weather- onto the coat hook and pulling on her lanyard.

“Hey, Keira,” Hunk calls back, mildly, turning back to the customer in front of her. “You know, I’ve gotta say. My friend Lainey is a _total_ fan of yours.”

Keira’s eyebrows narrow for a second before she hears a familiar voice respond, “Yeah, actually. She told me. Kind of hard to believe that many people know who I am, though.”

Keira’s eyes go huge. “Shiro…?” she calls, softly. She steps through the doorway.

Shiro’s standing there in a turtleneck windbreaker. Condensation clings to her face and her jacket, making her face turn red in the cold.

“What-? What are you doing here?” Keira stammers. She’s flabbergasted.

Hunk looks between them. “Do you… know each other?”

When Keira doesn’t respond, Shiro answers with a laugh. “Yeah! We’re sisters.”

Hunk’s head rears back. “What! Keira. Why didn’t you tell me you had a famous sister.”

“Are- Did- Why did you come over?” Keira asks, still startled. “How did you-?”

Shiro gave her a tight lipped smile. “ Lainey invited me here.”

Keira is astounded.

Shiro hadn’t left the apartment since the spring before, had stayed isolated in her room for almost a full year. Keira hadn’t pushed her though. Shiro freaked out around cars, and cities were full of them. Small things would get to her- someone would stop too quickly at a traffic light, tires would skid against the pavement, someone would drive too close to the shoulder of a road- and Shiro would gradually get so keyed up over the course of a couple of days, it would manifest in a total breakdown. Keira guessed that the constant exposure to them was what encouraged Shiro to stay inside. That, and the fact that she wasn’t getting much sleep.

But… Shiro was here, now. She’d walked, probably. On the sidewalk. Next to the passing cars of college kids escaping campus. Because Lainey had invited her.

Keira wonders if she’d promised Shiro she’d be okay. Keira wonders how Lainey managed to worm her way so solidly into both of their hearts.

Shiro’s smiling at her, a soft, knowing look. Keira can’t help but smile back at her, her sister who braved the outside world to visit her today.

“What’s going on?” Alor’s british accent calls out curiously, and he pokes his head out of the veterinary office. Upon seeing him, Shiro’s eyes widen.

Shiro had suffered a scar across her face and a streak of white hair as facial damage from the accident. It was the only aesthetic damage she received.

She apparently didn’t mind it much, judging from the way she exclaims over Alor’s hair, saying, “How did you get it that white? Dude, you’re freaking _beautiful_.”

Keira turns when she hears the sound of a door slamming, leaves Shiro and Alor alone to become best friends (which- honestly, it looks like they were bonding quite a lot). Lainey shakes out her umbrella. Water droplets catch onto her hair and onto her skin. She was wearing a see through raincoat and a blue tank top with turtle shell buttons.

She shakes out her umbrella and looks up. Her face, her whole _body_ lights up when she sees who’s come to visit. The umbrella falls to the ground.

Lainey flies into Shiro’s arms, shrieking:

“Ohmygod, _Shiro_!”

…

 _Hunk’s not home_ reads the last text Lainey had sent her. Her phone is heavy in her pocket as she bounds up the stairs of Lainey’s apartment two steps at a time. It burns a hole in the pocket of her coat.

Lainey answers the door practically naked. She’s got a cropped shirt on, and some lacy, navy blue panties. Keira sees the way her hip bones protrude from the lace. Can almost see the undersides of her breasts.

“Hey,” she says, smirking widely, “I figured I’d call you over to study.”

“We’re going to _study_ right now?” Keira says, disbelieving, unabashedly staring at her boobs.

Lainey moves to let her in. “Hell yeah.”

They open their textbooks when they reach Lainey’s room. Lainey’s sitting on her heels, her knees touching the ground and her thighs splayed open. Keira just stares at her, at the area where her thigh greets her torso, the way her muscles flex underneath her skin. Keira’s mouth might be watering. She wants to put it on Lainey.

They actually manage to get some studying in before Keira snaps. They’re reviewing some problems, and all Keira can think about is how the stupid fucking bunny on Lainey’s stupid fucking shirt is all stretched out from her stupid fucking boobs.

Lainey reaches up and brushes a strand of her soft straight hair behind her ear, sending a whiff of warm vanilla Keira’s way. She’s not even thinking as she reaches up, grabs Lainey’s wrist with her hand, as she grabs Lainey’s cheek with the other and pushes her to the ground, kisses her in response to the surprised sound she makes.

Their mouths are open, searing, and Kiera shoves her hands under Lainey’s back. Grabs her butt, which makes her arc her stomach and chest off the ground. Lainey moans when Keira rubs her thumbs at the edges of her underwear. Keira traces along her lower lips, thumbs at her hole. A dribble of slick falls onto her finger and it’s hot, it’s so fucking hot-

“How are you this wet?” Keira wonders, marvels. Lainey’s hands frame her face.

“It’s you,” she breathes.

Kiera’s cheeks are burning as she leans down, runs her face along Lainey’s neck, collarbone, breasts. “Because of me? You’re like this because of me?”

Her fingers probe her hole, graze her clit. Lainey’s hips hiccup, chasing the sensation. “Do you think of me? Sit here and bury your fingers in yourself, imagine they’re mine? Soak up the floor?”

Keira’s mind is hazy, melting; she’s not even aware of herself as Lainey answers, gasping, “Yes, _yes_ , always of you, I need you-”

“Kiss me,” Keira says, leaning forwards, “I need you to-”

“ _Mmph_.” Keira can’t get enough, eats up the noises she makes, the slick sounds of her pussy. Lainey grinds herself along the length of Keira’s hand, slowly.

She breaks apart with a gasp and a moan when Keira hooks her middle finger deep into her and swirls her thumb around her clit. She stretches back, her hair spreading around her like a gentle ripple in water. Keira wants to take pictures, to paint her like this, all beautiful like an angel.

“Yes, yes yes yes _yes, yes, I’m_ -” Lainey cries out when Keira’s fingers leave her, scrambles, angry, towards her, hips twitching, chasing relief. “No, nonono, baby come back- _give it to me_ -”

Keira gives in. Puts her mouth on her. Laps gently at her clit, and then sucks.

Lainey _screams_.

She’s grinding her pussy on Keira’s face as she comes, letting Keira lick her through the aftershocks.

Keira looks at her as she wipes her mouth. Lainey’s dazed, her eyes sparkling. Keira lays down on the ground next to her, grabs onto her waist. Runs her hands along Lainey’s soft body.

“You’re beautiful,” she murmurs into Lainey’s collarbone. Lainey’s arms reach up, wrap around her in response. She buries her face in Keira’s neck.

Keira wants to stay like this forever.

…

Keira thwacks the door open.

It’s not fair, it’s just not _fair_ -

Keira knows, on some level, that she’s being unreasonable. Aka was a cat at a cat shelter. Of course he was going to get adopted. Why else would he fucking be there, if not to get adopted?

Keira knows she’s scowling, eyes furrowed dramatically and eyes alight with anger even as salty water pours from her eyes in a never ceasing stream. She’d always been an angry crier. She had a habit of getting a lot of her frustrations out that way- angrily, that is.

Hunk and Alor were in the apartment, seated around the island with Shiro and tea in a triangular formation. They jump at the sound of Keira banging the door open, startled at the sight that greets them.

“Hey, Keira,” Shiro says, standing, immediately concerned, “what’s going on?”

“He- fucking- took-” Keira blubbers, getting angrier and angrier by the second, at herself, at Aka, at fucking Axac.

Axac, who seemed so cool at first. Maybe that’s what had been pinging on Keira’s familiarity radar; his assholiness. Keira had met assholes before. He must’ve been such an asshole it reminded her of every single other asshole Keira had ever met-

“Woah, woah, slow down, what did this Axac guy do, exactly?” asks Hunk, and shit, Keira was rambling.

“He took Aka home with him,” she spits out, and then runs to her room, slamming the door behind her. She jumps onto her bed, belly first, and sobs into her pillow.

She feels stupid, immature. Who the fuck cares so much about a fucking cat? She should just deal with it. Move on with her life.

But.

She’s heartbroken.

It had been sunny that afternoon, when Axac had come in. He had come in regularly enough before, the only customer she knew that was somewhat permanent despite the fact that he had yet to adopt a cat. Keira really liked the guy. They had a lot in common, from the extensive amount of kickboxing and crossfit they both did to the weird obsession with knives they both had. Keira wasn’t friends with the customers, but. She felt like she could’ve been his friend.

Then he’d waltzed in that day and told her, “Hey, Keira. I think I know who I want to adopt.”

Keira, unknowing, naive, innocent, had responded, “Oh? Who’s the lucky guy?”

And Axac, almost completely obliviously, had responded, “Aka. He’s such a sweet cat.”

Hence:

Keira, curled up on her bed. Hadn’t even taken her windbreaker off her black hoodie. Bawling her eyes out in her pillow.

It’s just that- She’d found Aka, wandering the streets, malnourished, with clear signs of mistreatment and abuse. She’d brought Aka back to life with food and warm milk and cuddles. Aka had been there for her when Shiro was suffering through her first panic attacks. Aka had calmed her down- calmed them both down. He always did something stupid when they were feeling down, as if he knew that his idiotic behavior would get his humans to laugh at him. Aka, temperamental, had only ever had any affection for her.

And then fucking Axac showed up in their lives. And took him away from her.

Keira cries harder. She feels like she’s losing her best friend.

She hears a knock, then a soft call. “...Keira?”

It’s Lainey. Keira can smell the fruity, vanilla, beachy smell that should be unpleasant but is amazing on her. She hears, and feels, slightly, the soft pads of her feet as she makes her way over, the rustle of the sheets and comforter as the bend bends under her weight.

She shifts over her, an arm looping across Keira and pulling her in so that her chest is pressed along Keira’s back. “You okay, baby?” Keira flips around, smooshes her face in Lainey’s neck. She feels like a child, but she doesn’t care. “No,” she says, her voice muffled.

She feels Lainey breathe in deeply, breathe out. And begin to rumble.

Keira looks up, questioning.

Lainey’s _l_ _aughing_.

“Are you _laughing_? At my _pain_?” Keira asks, indignantly, teary.

“No, no. it’s just-” Lainey says, barely being able to breathe through her giggles, “-you’re so fucking _dramatic, oh my god_.”

Keira scowls, angry. Would push her away, but.

She’s so warm.

Keira feels fingers trace gently along her scalp, pull softly through her hair. She looks back up at Lainey, who’s gazing at her through hooded eyes.

“You poor girl,” she murmurs, swiping a thumb along Keira’s tear soaked cheeks, “I’m so sorry, babe. I’m so sorry this happened to you.”

She presses a soft kiss underneath each of Keira’s eyes.

Kiera feels her lids drop.

…

Axac comes in about a week later. Aka isn’t there, Axac had picked him up about a week earlier. Keira had felt as if her soul was being crushed, the first time she walked in, looking around, only to see no flash of hot orange, hear no soft purrs or excited padding of small feet. She’d had to take a breather, her back pressed against the minifridge in the break room as she sat, her arms draped over her knees, her head hung, as she breathed in, once, twice.

It’s just.

Aka really had been her best friend. He’d cuddled with her, listened to her, gave his affection to her without hesitation. And if it weren’t for him, she wouldn’t have met Alor, Corrine, Hunk. Lainey. She would’ve been without some of the best people in her lives.

Keira slaps her own face. Now is not the time. She straightens her shirt up. It’s got a professional-looking diagram of a ribonucleic acid on it. She winces. Maybe she _should_ stop taking all of Ryo’s hand me downs.

“Keira, we need you out front!” Corrinne calls from behind the counter. Keira straightens up and walks out the door, smiling at Corinne when she gets to the desk. She turns to the customer, hoping her face manages to remain consumer-friendly.

Her face falls, she scowls. “Axac. Why’re you here?”

Axac blinks at her, surprised. “Sorry, I, uh. Guess I wanted to meet some cats?”

Keira raises a brow. “You want _more_ cats?”

“I mean… I’d like to have one, maybe more eventually…?”

“What?”

“...What?”

Keira’s nose scrunches, frustratedly. “Didn’t you adopt Aka?”

Axac shrugs. “I mean, I would’ve. He was adorable. But the manager told me that someone already adopted him, so.”

Keira blinks.

Someone had…?

“So… if I could…”

Keira starts. “Oh. Oh! Uh, yeah. Of course, right this way…”

…

The rubber soles of her converse skid on the pavement in front of her and Shiro’s joint apartment. She smacks her hand on the door, pushes it open.

Shiro, Hunk, Pidge, Alor, Lainey and Corinne sit around what Keira knows is their DnD table. They all perk up in alarm at the sound of Keira’s entrance.

Keira looks up, eyes piercing. “ _Where is she_.”

Lainey says, “Oh shit,” and she’s scrambling up from the table while Hunk and Pidge try to block Keira from following her.

See, after Axac had left and her shift had ended, Keira had come up to Corinne, asking, “did you tell Axac that Aka had already been adopted? You didn’t have to do that. I appreciate it but Aka needs a home, so…”

Corinne had shaken her head, smiling. “No. I’m sorry, Keira, but Aka really was adopted.”

Keira felt the hope she didn’t know she was holding onto fly out of her like the air being let out of a balloon. “Really…?”

“Yes.” Corrine was still smiling, though, and she had asked, “Do you want to know who adopted him?”

Keira’s eyebrows furrowed. “Am I allowed to...?”

“Of course, my girl,” Corinne said, warmly, placing the box of cat food she was carrying down and signing in to the adoption spreadsheet.

Next to Aka and Aoi’s name, it said, _Adopted_.

And next to that, a name. _Lainey McClain_.

And now:

Keira leaps over Hunk’s large frame, pushing off her shoulder. Distantly, she hears Pidge and Hunk cry out in alarm, but her focus is on one person-

Lainey scrambles into the hallway, her face drawn in an expression of mock horror, but her eyes alight with mirth. Keira speeds after her, skids on the hardwood floor and jumps.

She grabs Lainey by the waist and lifts her up, spinning her around. Keira can feel the way her raucous laughter resounds throughout her body. Her skin tingles where Lainey’s pressed up against her. She’s wearing a short, cornflower blue sundress. It makes her look like she’s glowing.

Keira tackles Lainey onto the bed as she keeps laughing. She brackets Lainey in with her knees, buries her face under her neck.

Even as Lainey’s laughter dies, Keira mumbles, “thank you, thank you, thank you…”

Lainey traces her fingers in Keira’s coarse hair, hums, and Keira can feel the sound vibrate on her skin, in her soul. Lainey presses a kiss to Keira’s forehead.

…

Keira laughs, her short legs swinging underneath the stool she was sitting on. They’re at Alor and Raimon’s apartment. It’s really fancy, for something that belongs to a couple of grad students, but apparently Alor’s parents used to be rich. The bathroom they’re sitting in is more of a master bathroom than a regular one. There’s a huge sink in between two vanities, which was currently where Shiro was sitting, on a regular sized chair, her head tipped backwards. Alor’s sleeves were rolled up to his elbows, his hands in her hair.

Keira’s sitting on one of the three sleek black barstools that were located in the bathroom. She didn’t know why they had barstools in their bathroom, but. Lainey and Pidge were also somewhere in the apartment fucking around. Hunk had declined when invited, opting to study.

Keira actually had the same test to study for, but-

Shiro’s mounting obsession with Alor’s hair had almost started to concern her, for a little bit. Her eyes would go hazy whenever Alor would enter the room, so much so that Hunk had pulled her aside one day, telling her, “You should probably tell your sister that Alor’s in a relationship,” to which Keira had responded, “Shiro’s hella gay.”

It was odd, though, the wistfulness with which Shiro regarded their friend’s hair. Keira watches Alor wash the bleach from Shiro’s hair. She hadn’t known what Shiro was planning on doing this morning when she had invited her to hang out with them, had just been alarmed at the mischievous glint in Shiro’s eyes.

“So,” Keira asks, now, a little apprehensive, “Why were you so determined to do this?”

Shiro blinks at Keira, as well as she could from the angle at which her head lay. “What do you mean?”

“I just mean,” Keira says, flapping her arms, making an aborted noise, “like. Why have you been staring at Alor’s hair all the time? Why do you want your hair to be white so badly?”

“Oh!” Shiro stares directly forwards, up at the ceiling.

There’s a pause, and Shiro gives Alor a look. Alor raises his eyebrows in response. Keira rolls her eyes.

“You guys.”

“We didn’t want you to be mad, but…” Alor says, avoiding eye contact. “Well. Shiro started working at _the Castle_.”

“Oh!” Keira’s brows furrow. “What? Why didn’t you tell me? What does this have to do with your hair? Why would I be _mad_?” She _is_ kind of mad, though. Why would she start working there without talking to Kiera about it first? Why would she have told _Alor_ before her own fucking sister? Did she not want Keira to know about it? Why would she hide something from Keira?

“Keira, Keira, wait,” Shiro says. “It’s just. You know, the accident. It happened.”

Oh. Keira looks down. “Yeah.”

“Keira… for a really long time, especially with-” Shiro breaks off. “Now that Addison is gone… it just. Everything really hit me hard. And. I’ve been… running from it. I need to move on.”

She looks at Keira, then. “It’s not healthy for myself. And it’s not healthy for you, either. I’ve... I’ve been relying on you too much.”

Keira feels a weight in her chest. “It’s not-”

“It is, though,” Shiro interrupts. “It’s not fair to you. Keira, I’m really sorry. I’m so sorry you had to... see me. The way you did. I know it must’ve been scary. It wasn’t fair of me to expose you to that. No little sister should have to see their big sister like that.”

Keira looks up. Shiro’s crying. She runs over, takes her sister’s hand in her own.

“No, Shiro-”

“It’s not okay,” Shiro sniffles, bringing her other arm over her face to brush away her tears. “After what happened to your parents, especially, I can’t-”

Keira stays by her side as she cries. It’s quiet, just the fluttering of a shaky breath and silent lanes of tears down her cheeks.

“So,” Shiro starts again, clearing her throat, clearing her eyes. “Basically. I’m sorry. And I’m sorry I didn’t consult you about working at _t_ _he Castle_. I’m sorry I’ve talked it all over with Alor before I told you, It’s just. I’ve decided that I need to stop relying on you. It’s not healthy for you, or for me. I’m moving on. I’ve started seeing a therapist, too, by the way.”

“Well, _I’m_ not sorry that you confided in me,” Alor says, abruptly. “I love you, dude.” He smiles at Shiro, reaches down to take her hand.

Keira’s breath is shaky. She realizes, absently, that her face is also wet. “It’s okay. You were right, I was mad… I’m sorry.”

Shiro smiles, shakes her head. “So we’re good?”

Keira smiles back. Nods, then frowns again. “Wait, what does this have to do with your hair?”

Alor laughs. “Yeah, Shiro. Get to the point, you sap.”

Shiro rolls her eyes. “I guess… I don’t want to run away from it, anymore. The accident happened to me, you know? It changed me. And I’m not going to hide from it. I’m going to accept it. So.”

“Are you sure it’s not just because Alor’s a pretty princess and you want to be a pretty princess too?” Pidge asks, drawing their attention. Pidge and Lainey are standing in the doorway. Lainey, the dork, stands there with her arms crossed and nodding, as if Pidge had dropped pure wisdom.

“It’s true,” Lainey says as the pair make their way into the bathroom. “Alor’s hair is fucking majestic.”

Lainey wraps her arms around Keira’s waist, hooking her chin over Keira’s shoulder, she asks Shiro, “So did you ever get to your doctor about weed?”

Pidge cackles, Keira facepalms. Alor sighs in defeat.

“What?” Lainey asks, defensively.

“You’re such a little fucking pothead, Lainey, I swear to god,” Alor says, shaking his head.

Lainey sputters in protest. “Hey-! I’m not-! Keira!”

Keira keeps laughing. She feels like little fireworks are going off where Lainey’s cheek is pressed to hers. Lainey’s bright red lips press at her jaw, her ear. Bite at the skin below it.

Keira flicks Lainey in the forehead, twisting her arm around to do so. She watches as the white dye seeps into Shiro’s hair, coats Alor’s hands.

She grins. “You’re going to look so badass.”

…

It’s another hot monday when Madeline dips into _the Castle_. Keira was there just to see Shiro after her classes had ended, had been planning on giving her sister a ride home. She’s cooing at Kuro, a kitty that Shiro had taken a fondness to, when she hears the bell jingle. Pidge, at the desk, perks up.

“Welcome to the- Maddie!”

Keira’s head jerks up, over to the break room where Shiro and Hunk are, chatting, then over to the front desk. Where Madeline Holt is standing.

“Hi, Pidge,” Maddie says, warmly, surveying the room. Her eyes catch on Keira and she blinks.

“Keira!” she says, surprised. “Hi! What are you doing here?”

“I work here?” Keira volunteers. “Hasn’t Pidge told you that?”

“No,” Maddie says. “Pidge actually didn’t.” She gives her sibling a glare.

Pidge had come around the front of the desk, and was now looking guiltily between them.

“Well, I didn’t say anything because-”

At that moment, Shiro exits the break room, yelling, “Keira! Are we going or what?”

Maddie pales. “Shiro?” she whispers.

Shiro blinks, looks over at Maddie.

“Maddie?” Then she starts, makes her way over. “Maddie! Holy shit! How are you? I missed you so much-”

They’re hugging, Shiro’s huge frame almost lifting Maddie off the ground in a crushing hug. Maddie laughs, a little breathlessly. “Shiro-! I can’t breathe-”

Shiro sets Maddie down, grinning a little tearily. “Keira told me about you, I almost couldn’t believe it. I’m so glad you’re doing well-”

“Me, doing well? What about you? You look amazing! I’m so happy you’re doing well-”

“-and your hair! It’s so cute! It’s so short now! You look beautiful!”

“- _my_ hair? Shiro, what about you? Your hair is gorgeous! How on earth did you get it that color?”

Keira watches as they fret over each other, watches their happiness, their relief at seeing each other intact and thriving. A little bubble of happiness pops within herself, too. She’s so glad they’re both okay.

Pidge’s gaze snags on to her own. Keira smiles at her. It’s an immeasurable feeling, to see your loved ones so happy.

By the time Kiera is putting Kuro away, the duo have exchanged their emotional stories and made a Shirogane-Holt dinner party plan. When Keira tries to get out of it, feebly protesting, “My last name is actually Kogane,” Shiro had called bullshit and Keira was effectively roped into the dinner as well.

Shiro’s humming as she fits her ink black helmet on, swinging her leg over the back of Keira’s bike. Keira grins, putting on her own vermillion-hued helmet.

“Well, aren’t you in a good mood.”

Shiro laughs, looks at the ground. “I really am! I just. I was so worried about her.” A somber look fills her eyes. “I really am so glad she’s okay.”

Keira smiles, softly. “Yeah. I am, too.”

…

Pidge, Hunk, and Lainey had gotten tremendously excited upon seeing the first blisteringly hot rays of sunshine break through the clouds, the little flowers that bloomed, popping up between the cracks of old sidewalk. Though she insisted summer was her favorite season, Lainey had rambled to Keira for a couple hours on the intricacies of spring’s beauty.

The way the sun would light up Lainey from behind... Keira had no choice but to agree.

There were too many of them to fit in Lainey’s worn down, pale blue acura from 2003. As Lainey drives, Hunk, Shiro, and Pidge sit squished in the back seat. Keira sits shotgun, to which Pidge protests to, loudly, saying, “Why does _Keira_ get to sit up front?”

Keira bites onto her grin when Lainey responds, equally as loudly, “Because I say so. Got a problem with that, Pigeon?”

Lainey was always an experience, and there was no exception when she drove. She danced minutely in her seat along to the music that blasted from the radio, bobbing her head and making little aborted movements with her hands when she used her turn signal. She sang and hummed along, alternatively, quieting down for parts she didn’t know but rousing up again with even a semblance of familiarity.

She was wearing a black wrap dress with roses on it, various necklaces and a lot of highlighter. Her hair was in a high ponytail. Keira had never seen it like that before. She looked amazing, like Keira’s happiness wrapped in a present. Lainey catches her looking, holds her hand out loosely above the gear shift, palm up. She’s got a gold chain around her wrist, with a heart shaped locket.

Keira intertwines her hand with Lainey’s, her own hand so small and white compared to Lainey’s long, brown fingers. Keira catches Lainey biting down on a strawberry lip. Her eyes sparkle.

The car jolts to a stop and Lainey lets out a tiny scream of happiness. “We’re here!”

Keira turns to the backseat. “Do you know where the hell we are?”

Pidge grins, ferociously. They haunted Keira’s nightmares, sometimes. “Nope.”

Hunk laughs jauntily, clambering out of the car and taking down the blanket that was tied to the car’s roof. “Relax, you guys! We’re having a picnic!”

“What? Really?” Shiro says, leaning forwards in her seat, eagerly. She turns to Hunk, her eyes wide in excitement. “I _love_ picnics.”

Keira snorts, gets out of the car. Hears Lainey in the distance say, “oooh, Alor! I love your outfit!”

Keira looks over to where Corinne, Alor, and Raimon stand, their hair and outfits being pushed by the wind. Alor’s wearing a linen maxi skirt. Keira snorts again. Lainey would like that.

“Guys! Come on!” Lainey calls, with an effusive movement of her arm. She’s carrying a little basket in the other one. Keira jogs over to her.

The sky is a bright blue. The sun coats them all in warmth. The wind catches onto their hair, their clothes. Carries the sound of her friend’s laughter. Keira laces her hand together with Lainey’s once again, smiling when she grins in response. Lainey kisses her, a peck on the lips.

Keira feels warm. Catches Shiro and Pidge’s knowing smiles. Looks down, and squeezes Lainey’s hand in hers.

…

“I saw on your instagram. Shiro, that’s amazing!”

Shiro laughs in response to the voice on the screen. “Isn’t it? Life has changed so much since the new year.”

Keira looks over from where she’s carrying the recently-washed soft blankets. “Who’re you facetiming?”

“Ryo,” Shiro says in response. “Want to say hi?”

Keira deposits the blankets onto the couch, the rest of the laundry forgotten. “Uh. Duh.”

Keira’s and Shiro’s other, more fashionable, sister has her screen oriented vertically, facing her as she stands up. She’s in a bra and a pair of formal pants, staring down at two shirts on her bed indecisively.

“What’re you up to?” Keira asks. Ryo and Shiro are practically identical, if not for Ryo’s shorter hair and Shiro’s more muscular, buff, and generally masculine build, along with the recent addition of Shiro’s bleached hair and nose scar.

“I’m having a job interview for when my fellowship ends,” Ryo explains. “I’m hoping to be somewhere in Arus. I miss you guys. It’s not good for a girl to be away from her sisters for too long.”

“Yes!” Shiro and Keira practically shout in unison, to Ryo’s laughter. “We’d love that!” Shiro continues, enthusiastically.

“What’s up with you, though, Keira?” Ryo asks, finally pulling on the white blouse. “I know what _Shiro’s_ been up to, Dyeing her hair white. I thought _I_ was the spontaneous sister.”

“Well, I’ve been going to school. Shiro hasn’t been helping me at all with homework,” Keira informs her, to which Shiro shoots her a betrayed look. “And I’ve got work. You’d love _the Castle_.”

“I know all of that,” Ryo says, impatiently. “Tell me the juicy stuff, Keira. I’ve been hearing something about a girl recently?”

It’s Keira’s turn to shoot Shiro a betrayed look. “There isn’t any girl. We’re just friends.”

Shiro snickers. “Just friends, huh?”

Kiera rolls her eyes, unlocking her phone at Ryo’s repeated, “show me, show me, show me!”

She pulls up a picture of Lainey and Raimon, one where Lainey’s lifting a cat into Raimon’s eyes. The sun illuminates the duo, makes them look as if their hair is glowing.

“Oooh!” Ryo says, excited. “She’s cute! And so is that guy!”

“He’s in a relationship,” Keira informs her.

“Oh.” Ryo says, pouting. “Dammit.”

Shiro laughs. “Her name is Lainey.”

“Lainey, hmmm?” Keira blushes. “Yeah.”

“Well, what are you waiting for? Tell me more about her!”

Keira places her head in her palms, begins to speak. Talks about Lainey’s laugh, how loud she is. How she’s always moving. How she likes to listen to romantic music and sing to the cats as she dances around the shelter. How she lights up everyone’s day. How selfless she is. How funny she is. How she’s the most beautiful thing Keira’s ever seen.

She’s so caught up in describing Lainey, she misses the tender smiles her siblings send her way.

…

“Welcome to _the Castle of Lions_! How may I help y-” Shiro cuts off before she finishes the sentence. Keira looks up from the budgeting spreadsheet she has pulled up on her laptop. She’s not good at this at all. There’s a reason she went into astrophysics and not business.

Shiro’s staring at the girl who just walked in. She’s tall, kind of bony. Her skin is a dark umber. Her hair is just slightly darker, though not quite dark enough to be black. It’s long, falls slightly into her eyes. She’s staring back at Shiro.

Keira looks between them. They’re frozen on the spot like a too-cold otter pop. Or a pair of socially awkward, sapphically oriented women. Keira rolls her eyes, sends the spreadsheet to Raimon and shuts her laptop down.

“Hey! Welcome to _the Castle of Lions_! This is Shiro! She can help you with whatever you need today,” Keira says, about as warmly as she thinks she can.

“Oh, I,” stammers the woman. “Sorry, um. My name is Courtney. I was thinking of getting my niece a cat for her birthday? Um, we think she’s old enough now, so. Uh.”

Keira pokes Shiro. Hard. Shiro starts, placing a hand on her head sheepishly. “Yes! Uh, sorry about that! It’s been… a weird day. There are some play pens you can look at, which one do you want to start with…?”

Alor joins Keira later, they watch together as Keira’s hopeless sister bumbles over words and awkwardly attempts to flirt.

“Normally I’d say this is against company protocol, but your sister really needs to get laid,” Alor murmurs.

Keira laughs, disguises it as a cough when the pair look over inquisitively. “Honestly.”

She watches, a growing fondness, when the woman hands something to Shiro and her eyes light up. Shiro deserves this.

…

The sky blazes blue. Birds are chirping and leaves are rustling and Keira walks to work (something she rarely does, because she’s twenty years old and really fucking lazy). She enters _the Castle_ through the main entrance, today, kneeling to the ground with a smile as Aka bounds towards her. Lainey must’ve brought him in today, she did that when he seemed particularly lonely.

Keira comes over to stand next to Lainey, nuzzling her face into the crown of Aka’s head. Lainey reaches an arm around Keira, not looking away from her computer screen, as if on instinct. Keira leans down, presses a kiss to the side of Lainey’s temple, her cheek.

“Hey, Keira. Sorry about this, class is a little hard lately and Corinne said she didn’t mind if I studied here, would it be okay if you did most of the talking today? I swear I’ll do everything else,” Lainey says, a bit distracted.

“Yeah, I don’t mind,” Keira says, speaking into the top of Aka’s head. He was so cute. Like a dumpling. Keira’s maternal feelings always spiked when he was around.

“Thanks, babe,” Lainey says. She doesn’t remove her arm, instead worming it underneath Keira’s flannel and shirt. She grazes the edge of Keira’s abs with her fingertips. They leave little tingly trails of fire in their wake.

The sun filters in through the glass door. It shines on Lainey, illuminating her eyes. In the sun, her eyes look like glowing amber pools. The edges of her hair look golden. There’s a little furrow between her thick, dark brows. She’s biting down slightly on her bottom lip, muttering to herself, under her breath. Her freckles are vast across her nose, like a galaxy.

Keira loves her.

She immediately feels all the breath go out of her as she were stuck in a vacuum. She breathes out, gustily, sets Aka down on the countertop and braces herself.

She breathes in. Tries to breathe in, but her breath is shaky and her lungs still feel tight. Her head is beginning to hurt. Her vision begins to blurry. Everything’s swimming around her, melting. She hears Lainey talking, distantly, but the sound is muffled, warped, as if she were six feet underwater.

Fuck.

 _Fuck_.

…

When Keira gets there, Lainey’s in a white dress with billowy sleeves. It makes her look like she’s a star, bright against an ink dark sky.

She creeps into her apartment. Lainey’s drinking a red liquid from a glass, watching _V for Vendetta_ on the TV screen.

“Wine?” Keira asks when Lainey notices her. “What? Oh. No. Cranberry juice. I’m menstruating.”

“Ah.” Keira clings onto the straps of her backpack.

“Ugh.” Lainey says, stretching out, off the couch. “This movie is depressing. Come with me, Hunk made brownies before she left.”

“Where is Hunk, by the way?”

“That’s why I invited you over, I’ve got news,” Lainey says, her mouth splitting open mischievously into a grin. “She’s over at _Shane’s_ right now.”

“ _What_.”

“I _know_ , right?”

“Wow,” Keira says, after a moment of silence, “I’m. So proud of her. I didn’t think she had it in her.”

When Lainey laughs, she throws her head back, reveals the brown skin of her neck. She looks at Keira, softly, her smile glittering.

Keira’s heart pounds a million times in her chest.

Lainey walks over, wraps her arms around Keira’s waist. Goes to kiss her.

Keira pulls away.

Lainey blinks in surprise, takes a step back.

“Keira?”

Keira doesn’t respond, stays staring at the ground.

“What’s wrong, sweetheart?”

Keira starts, at that. _Sweetheart_. That was a new one.

“Why did you call me that?”

“...Wha-”

“Sweetheart. Why did you call me that? Why have you _been_ calling me… Saying my name like that? What do you think we are?”

Lainey’s lashes flutter. She swallows, lowers her arms. Fuck. She’s so fucking beautiful.

“I’m sorry, I guess I assumed-”

“We’re not anything, Lainey,” Keira bites out. “We’re never going to _be_ anything. This… it isn’t a good idea. I don’t… I don’t want to be with you.”

Lainey had been closing in on herself, slowly. Her arms curl inwards. She looks up when Keira’s finished speaking, her eyes wide, wet, her brows furrowed.

“What the hell? Where is this _coming_ from?” Her voice shakes. “ _Why_ is this such a bad idea?”

“It just!” Keira breathes in sharply, pinches her nose. “It just is, okay?”

“Did I-” her lashes flutter, “Did I do something? Am I… Is it me?”

“ _No_ ,” Keira says. It could never be her.

“Then _why_?” Lainey asks, her voice hardening. “Why are you- why are you pushing me away?”

Keira scowls. “I don’t want to have this conversation anymore, Lainey,” she says. Turns, starts to walk out the door.

“Wait,” Lainey calls out. Her voice breaks. Keira hates herself, hates herself for being the reason it does so. Her face burns with tears that threaten to spill. Lainey’s hand grabs onto her elbow. “Keira, please. Please don’t do this. Stay. With me.”

Keira turns her head. Not fully, so Lainey can’t see her crying. She says, “Goodbye, Lainey.”

Keira remembers back when they first met. Lainey’s grip was strong. Keira couldn’t break free from her hold.

This time, Lainey lets her go.

…

“What are you doing?”

“Leave me alone, Shiro,” Keira snaps from under the blanket. It was a greyish blue blanket. Lainey had knitted it for Shiro. She’d come over with it, watched the Matrix trilogy with them despite claiming that she hated it, and that she was only sitting through it because she knew Shiro liked it. She’d still teared up at the ending.

“Why is Pidge blowing up my phone with increasingly nonsensical death threats towards you?” Shiro asks, yanking the blanket from her grasp.

“What?”

“Did you say something to Lainey?”

Keira’s face tightens up. She brings her knees to her chest, pushes her face into a pillow.

“Shiro, I-” She takes a deep breath. “I really fucked up.”

She’s crying, can feel the tears dry stickily to her face. She’s taking deep breaths, but they must not be slow enough because they mount, they keep mounting, and then she’s hyperventilating-

“Hey, hey, hey, what’s going on?” Shiro’s strong arm lifts her, tucks her underneath her sister’s chin. “What’s wrong?”

“I screwed things up, Shiro, I-” she’s blubbering, but she doesn’t even care, “I told her- I said I didn’t want her.”

“Oh, Keira,” Shiro says softly, and just holds her as she cries.

Later, much later, once Keira’s stopped crying, is instead wrapped up in her blanket, hunched over on the couch, Shiro brings her a warm drink to comfort her. Lainey would’ve made hot chocolate. Shiro made tea.

“Now,” Shiro says, a hand resting reassuringly on Keira’s back, “Want to tell me what you did?”

Keira takes a sip of tea, stares into the spot of nothing that sits before her. “I fucking told her I didn’t want to be with her. That we were bad together.”

Shiro nods. “Okay,” she says, “Why?”

Keira glares. “What.”

“ _Why_ did you do that?”

“Because-” Keira says, frustrated. “Because. I don’t know, Shiro! I’m just… I _hurt_ her, Shiro. You should’ve seen… should’ve heard the way she sounded. Because of me. I’m just going to _keep_ hurting her. I’m not-” not enough. Not good enough. She was going to stab that beautiful girl with the thorns of her personality until Lainey bled out.

“Lainey doesn’t…she deserves so much more than that. She doesn’t need someone like me.”

“Did she say that?” Shiro asks, sharply.

Keira looks over at her, startled. “What? No, she’d never-”

“Do you try to hurt her, Keira? When you think about her, are you thinking about how much you want her to suffer?”

“No!” Keira shouts. “I love her!”

Silence. Keira blinks.

Shiro smiles at her, softly. “Well, then. Can you be bad for each other if hurting her hurts you this much?”

Keira opens her mouth, closes it. Gapes.

Shiro bundles her up in her arms again. “Keira… I know. I know you’re scared. But what you two have is precious. You’ve got to believe in it. You’ve got to believe in her. You have to believe in _yourself_ , too.”

“It’s just-” her voice catches, “My dad left before even knowing me. My mom left. _You_ left. I don’t… I couldn’t handle it. If she left.”

“ _Keira_ ,” Shiro says, softly. “I came back, didn’t I?”

She lifts Keira’s head. “The people in your life, they’re here to stay. You should show her that _you’re_ here to stay.”

“But will she?” Keira’s chin wobbles. “Can she even stay after I lashed out like that? I _fucked up_ , Shiro.”

“Yes, you did,” Shiro says, lightly. “So why don’t you go fix it?”

…

Lainey’s eyes are bloodshot when she opens the door.

“Heey, Keira,” she slurs, smiling loosely. She’s got on an oversized jersey that hangs loosely off her shoulders. “How’re you?”

“Lainey?” Keira asks, caught off guard. Her breath smelled like alcohol.

“I haven’t… seen you,” Lainey says, leaning droopily against the door. “In a bit.”

Keira looks past her, sees empty glass bottles littering the apartment behind her. Also, a lit joint.

“Have you been mixing substances?” Keira asks, alarm creeping up in her voice.

Lainey’s eyebrows narrow. “It’s jus’... It’s just weed. And booze. It’s fine.”

“Lainey-”

“No, you know what?” Lainey asks, standing upright in a sudden motion. “You know what Keira? You don’ get to be worried about me anymore.”

Keira swallows, looks at the ground.

Lainey sighs, after a little bit. “I was thinking. You were… you were right. About. Us.”

Keira looks up, startled. “What? I-”

“No,” Lainey interrupts, too loud. “We’re not good. Together. We’re not good together.”

“Lainey,” Keira pleads, steps forwards.

Lainey jolts back, drunkenly, tries to balance herself. “I can’t be with someone who doesn’t care about me the way I care about them,” she says slowly, as articulately as she can. Then she closes the door.

She’s breathing deeply, fighting back tears when she hears, “Keira?”

Keira turns. It’s Hunk.

“Hunk-” she starts, relieved.

“Actually, Keira?” Hunk says, her expression pinched. “I really don’t want to fucking talk to you right now.”

Keira feels her face fall, her heart fall, and she starts again, love and concern mixing in an expanding bubble in her chest-

“Hunk, please, I just want her to be okay.”

Hunk regards her, quietly, for a moment.

“Why? Why do you think you get to want her to be okay?”

Keira winces, looks away. “I wanted to tell her I’m sorry,” Keira says, her voice unsteady. “I wanted to tell her that I love her.”

When she looks back up, the look Hunk’s giving her is much softer.

“Okay,” she says.

Keira keeps looking at her, unsure.

“Really?”

“Don’t stop trying,” says Hunk.

Keira beams. “I won’t. I-” she cuts herself off. “Are we… are we okay?”

Hunk looks at her again, pensive. Really takes her in.

“Sometimes we hurt the ones we love,” she says. “I guess it’s how we deal with our actions that determine if we’re worth forgiveness.”

She comes closer, places a hand on Keira’s shoulder, and brings her in for a hug.

“We’ll be okay,” she says. “You’ll be okay.”

…

Kiera’s head jerks up as she hears the door creak open. Lainey isn’t wearing makeup, her eyelashes considerably shorter than they typically were, the skin under her eyes considerably darker. Kiera notices the acne scars that dot her chin, how different they are from her freckles.

Her skin is warm against the white ribbed tank she’s wearing. Kiera can see her nipples peak out slightly through her cami, could see the way the hem frays above her belly button.

Lainey rolls her eyes at the sight of her, moves to close the door. Kiera reaches out and slams against it, wincing at the noise. Lainey jumps, imperceptibly, and Kiera feels the irritation at being startled roll off her in tiny waves.

“You’re the most beautiful girl in the world,” Kiera blurts, too fast and clumsily, her words stumbling over each other.

Lainey blinks rapidly.

“What?” she croaked. Her voice is raspy. Her eyes, too, Kiera noticed, are rimmed with red.

“Y-... You’re the most beautiful girl in the world. Like. Your eyes, your cheeks, your nose, your smile, your hair, you’re beautiful. And… on the inside. You’re always focused on other people. On someone else. You’re so giving, and kind, and sweet, and you’re so funny, Lainey, you’re so fucking funny, it’s. It’s _annoying_ how funny you are. And you’re so, like, aware? And you just- you make me feel-” Kiera cuts herself off. Looks up, takes a deep breath.

“You’re so beautiful. You make me feel… you make me feel like… you just…” she takes a breath again, digs the base of her palms into her eyes and drags them down. “You’re so confusing,” she breathes out.

“Kiera… what are you-” Lainey’s voice wobbles. Kiera moves her hands away in alarm. Lainey is crying, the tears welling up in her eyes and spilling along her face, across her freckles. She’s so cute. So fucking cute.

She moves forwards, puts a hand on Lainey’s face, feels it as Lainey draws a shaky breath inward. “I’m sorry. I’m sorry I’m emotionally constipated. I’m sorry I can’t ever find the words. I’m so so sorry and you don’t ever have to talk to me if you don’t want to again but I just had to tell you that I’m sorry and you’re beautiful, you’re the most beautiful thing I’ve ever seen and you’re the best thing that’s ever happened to me and I lo-”

Lainey presses her lips to Kiera’s.

She tastes strawberries, and the salty remnants of Lainey’s tears. She can smell her, from this close; the strong fruity tang of her perfume, the undercurrent of sand and water. Kiera wraps her arms around her. She’s so warm, so soft.

Lainey breaks away from her and buries her face into Kiera. Kiera’s breath catches when she feels Lainey’s shallow breaths against her neck, the flutter of her eyelashes.

“... are we both crying?”

Kiera blushes.

“...mhm…”

A snort. “We’re such fucking women.”

Kiera guffaws, slapping a palm over her mouth in an attempt to hold the laughter, ultimately failing as the chuckles reverberate throughout her body.

Lainey pulls back, pouting at first, but slowly grins at her, softly. “I missed you.”

“I missed _you_ ,” Kiera says, rubbing her hands on Lainey’s waist, glancing up at Lainey between her bangs. “And your boobs.”

Lainey squawks. “Kiera!”

“What!”

“Hunk’s home!”

“Oh, shit.”

…

They’re laying horizontally on the couch, Keira on top of Lainey. There’s a studio ghibli movie playing on the screen- _When Marnie Was There_ , maybe- but Keira isn’t paying attention. She’s got a knee wedged between Lainey’s thigh, one hand fisted in her hair, the other brushing along her midriff. She’s sucking on the skin below her ear, living for the way Lainey flutters her eyelashes in response, for the way she gasps out, lets out little moans.

She just feels so right, in Keira’s arms.

“Lainey,” she says, breaking away. “I’m in love with you.”

“Holy shit,” Lainey breathes.

“What?”

“I’m in love with you, too.”

“Yeah?” Keira’s grinning. She’s sure she looks ridiculous, her mouth rubbed red.

“Yeah.”

She presses her lips to Lainey’s, moves her tongue against her once, twice, licking into her mouth. She runs her thumbs along the surface of Lainey’s breasts, runs hot at the broken whine Lainey makes into her mouth.

“Lainey,” she says, pressing her mouth to her jaw, her collarbone, her boobs, her bellybutton. “I love you, I love you, I love you.”

She feels fingers in her hair, thumbs urging her to look back up. Lainey meets her gaze, wide eyed.

“I love you too.”

**Author's Note:**

> Couple of things:
> 
> The quote at the beginning is the opening line to Poem 16 by Pablo Neruda from his book "Twenty Love Poems and a Song of Despair." It's also what Lainey writes on that paper she gives to Keira.
> 
> This is my first work here, and the first (maybe second?) thing I've written and shared publicly. If you could give me any advice or criticisms, that would be super helpful! But please be nice because I'm super sensitive.
> 
> Also, character guide:
> 
> Ryo= Ryou (actual character from the original show, which I used to watch and hate as a child. It just wasn't Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, which I loved as a kid, and was always on before Voltron. Anyways, he's Shiro's younger brother. Who dies.)  
> Raimon= Romelle  
> Corinne= Coran  
> Axac= Axca
> 
> I also really wanted to worm Hunk's real name in there. It's Tsuyoshi, and the female version of that name would be Tsuyu. I didn't get to it, though.
> 
> A couple of other things I wanted to write in here is that Raimon is trans because there are too many cis people in the world, and that Maddie's favorite cat is named Chip. If you know, you know.


End file.
